Years ago I was listening to Beth Moore, a women’s bible study teacher and something she said stuck with me. I don’t remember the exact quote, but she said something about praying that her automatic responses would be godly ones. Do you know what I am talking about?
The other day I was driving home and was stopped at a light. I was turning left across traffic, so when the light changed I took a second, literally just one second, to make sure I had an arrow before turning. In that second, the person in the car behind me honked impatiently. Was my automatic response godly? Umm…no.
I managed to hold it together and made no gestures to my impatient fellow driver, but it really chapped my hide and I struggled the rest of the way home, with steam coming out of my ears.
Ephesians 4:32 NKJV says:
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
The Amplified bible puts it this way:
Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you.
The Message:
Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.
This was just a brief interaction with someone I was never going to see again. It took only a short time to realize that this was a slight offense, to let it go, consciously forgive and move on. But it wasn’t automatic.
There have been times that slight offenses have taken longer for me to let go of.
Then there are the not-so-slight offenses–the repeated offenses, the deep offenses, the ones that threaten my self-esteem, the heart-breaking ones. My automatic response? To defend myself. To justify myself. To at least ponder retaliation. If nothing else, to voice my dismay about my offender.
But honestly, despite all that, I really do want to be a person who forgives, who has grace, who wants healing on both sides of the relationship. It’s just obvious that it doesn’t come naturally and I can’t do it on my own.
A few years ago, during one of our church prayer night gatherings, I had an epiphany! Jesus finally drove it home to me, that it was never intended that I go it alone. That is why Jesus made a way.
John 17: 20-23 NKJV
20 “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; 21 that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. 22 And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: 23 I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.
Romans 7:21-25 NKJV
21 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
In verses 4-6 of Ephesians 4 the word “one” is used 7 times to describe our life in the Spirit, as a church, in God. And how can we be “one” if we can’t forgive each other and leave the judging to God.
Jesus is not unaware of our difficulty in forgiving others, especially when our offense is justified. Can you imagine the number of times Jesus was offended by others walking around on this planet for 33 years? His response was to give His life for them.
A life of forgiveness is a huge ask. But it is essential to God’s plan for our being “one”. For our well-being. And He didn’t leave us to tackle it alone. We have His example, and more importantly we have His Spirit! Jesus lives in me.
I don’t want to be flippant and pretend that it is easy. It’s not. I don’t know if forgiveness will ever become automatic for me in this lifetime, but I do believe it is worth the struggle to be a part of what God has in store for us–for the oneness he promises us. I pray for me and for you that He will give us the grace to always be able to come to a place of forgiveness just as He has forgiven us.
Colossians 1:27 NKJV
To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
About the Author
Darla loves God and is the Digital Media & Communications Director for CitySalt Church. She is a graphic designer and an entrepreneur. Always learning. Eternally grateful for her wonderful and supporting husband Mark and faithful friends who are are pillars of encouragement in all her endeavors.
Mark and Darla have no children but have the privilege of loving a gaggle of ever expanding nieces and nephews.