There are a lot of lonely people in the world. And I’m not just talking about the intense loneliness many people experienced during the recent time of Pandemic shut-down and isolation. I’m talking about the existential loneliness experienced by many of us every day – by not feeling connected, not being understood, not being accepted, not being loved. Loneliness is a powerfully devastating state which can lead to insecurity, fear, anxiety, stress, depression, antisocial behavior and a host of physical, mental and emotional illnesses. Studies show that many youths join dangerous street gangs simply because they are lonely and are offered a community to belong to. Spiritually speaking, loneliness can pervert a person’s view of God and rob their lives of any meaning.
You may remember one of the Beatles’ songs, “Eleanor Rigby”. The lyrics go like this:
Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people
Eleanor Rigby
Picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window
Wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
Father McKenzie
Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near
Look at him working
Darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there
What does he care?
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people
Eleanor Rigby
Died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie
Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved
All the lonely people (ah, look at all the lonely people)
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people (ah, look at all the lonely people)
Where do they all belong?
Sorry for the depressing song! But I think it paints a good picture of a world full of lonely people.
I recently returned from a CitySalt Staff Retreat where we spent a good portion of our weekend just sharing our life stories with one another. That proved to be a rich time, and even though we didn’t get as much practical work done as was planned on the agenda, it seemed somehow more important. We came away more like a team, more like a community, rather than just a group of individuals with ideas.
One thing shared during the retreat really caught my attention. Talking about the Church at large and the way Christian culture has developed over the centuries, it was mentioned that often a person must first Believe (all the right things), then secondly Become (more like the predominant Christian culture around them), and finally then they are allowed to Belong (to the community).
It was pointed out that this is exactly backwards!
If a person is first invited to Belong (just because Christ loves them), then they will start to Become more like Jesus (as God’s love and the Holy Spirit work in their lives) and then Belief will more likely flow naturally, as the person experiences the goodness and love of the Lord through the community.
Isn’t that a fantastic way to look at it!
And what is then our charge as individuals and as a church? Practicing hospitality and extending invitations of belonging to our community, are sacred practices. Think of how Jesus invited everyone he met to come to him, spend time with him, follow him: lepers, prostitutes, tax-collectors, and those demon-possessed were included. He even invited the most resistant class of all, the Pharisees who opposed him and were trying to destroy him (think Nicodemus in John 3).
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Jesus is inclusive, not exclusive.
Hebrews 13:2
Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.
One of the most poignant instances of Jesus’ invitation to belong is found in John 14:1-3. Speaking to his followers, he says:
My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
What an invitation! How personal and relational this is! Can you sense the emotion, the love, that Jesus is expressing with these words?
We all have a fundamental need to belong to a family, a group, a community. Loneliness and isolation are not healthy places to live. If we can do anything at all to help those suffering in that way, even as small an act as giving them a drink when they’re thirsty, Jesus says we are “giving a drink of water” to Jesus himself! He identifies that closely with the suffering of the lonely and the outcast! (See Matthew 25:35-40.)
It seems to me that we can best follow Jesus’ call to love our neighbor by hearing our neighbor’s story, respecting their story, and wherever they may be on life’s path, inviting them into our fellowship to whatever degree is possible. That alone just might be enough to awaken a hunger and thirst for more, a hunger and thirst for Him who truly can satisfy our longing for connection and our need for belonging.
About the Author
John lives in Pleasant Hill with his dog, Gunnar, and a multitude of guests who enjoy the peace and beauty of the Cascade foothills. With three children and three grandchildren all living in Oregon, he is continually blessed with their company and the good food that always accompanies their get-togethers!