One of my dearest friends and I strongly disagree in our political views. I’ve long thought that one of the key reasons Allison and I have stayed friends for so long, is that we’ve agreed to not discuss it much. But, in recent years it has become increasingly difficult to avoid the topic. Allison explained that her sister shares the same views that I have, and she wanted to better understand her sister’s point of view. And so, with a fair amount of nervous trepidation, I began to share my opinions in response to her questions.
During one heated discussion, we both paused, trying to avoid a descent into acrimony. We both wanted to protect our friendship. I said, “We might not agree on many things, but we do agree on the most important thing, our common faith in Christ!” Allison wholeheartedly agreed, and our conversation took an immediate positive turn. We discussed the things we were grateful for in each other and ended our conversation with prayer.
Later on, as I reviewed the conversation in my mind, I was struck by the unifying influence of Christ. And I realized that if the Lord was not present, as the connecting bridge in our friendship, we might not be friends at all. As in any friendship, our differences in temperament and beliefs are often too large and too numerous for simple human will to overcome. Our agreement in prayer and our choice to receive God’s grace and forgiveness from each other is what serves as the glue that keeps us together as friends.
Ephesians 4:2-3 TPT
“With tender humility and quiet patience, always demonstrate gentleness and generous love toward one another, especially toward those who may try your patience. Be faithful to guard the sweet harmony of the Holy Spirit among you in the bonds of peace, being one body and one spirit, as you were all called into the same glorious hope of divine destiny.”
Also, I am continually surprised by the progressive nature of God’s presence in my life. As long as I look to and listen to Him, He blesses me, by improving me. Another friend, Bonnie, and I have gradually progressed from being acquaintances to being friends, over the course of three decades. In the early days, my perception was that our temperaments clashed. Her introverted need for solitude was a challenging mix with my extroverted need to think out loud about a variety of topics. I felt embarrassed and thought I was responsible for the exasperation I thought I read from her body language.
Over the years my friendship with Bonnie has held a mirror to my progress in Christ. I now see that I am not the only factor responsible for any person’s mood or emotions. There are many other factors involved. We are both under construction in God’s remodeling process of our lives. I believe He used us both, to sand off sharp edges and shape each other for a season of time. I find that I am now able to enjoy periods of quiet in her company, and I enjoy hearing her perspective in the brief conversations we now have. I am thankful for this learning experience. And, I am so thankful that we all have Jesus, the unifying, redeeming savior, as our common ground.
John 17:9, & 20-23 Living Bible
(Jesus’ prayer to the Father, for his disciples and future believers.)
“My prayer for all of them is that they will be of one heart and mind, just as you and I are, Father... I have given them the glory you gave me – the glorious unity of being one, as we are…so that the world…will understand that you love them as much as you love me.”
About the Author
Sara has attended CitySalt Church since 2004, the year it was founded. She studied Journalism, wrote for her college newspaper, and is a member of Oregon Christian Writers. Sara also enjoys singing hymns with friends: “there is a sermon in every hymn waiting to be discovered and enjoyed.”