“When I look at the clues that indicate the nature of Jesus – born in a barn, questionable parents, spotty ancestry, common name, misdirected announcement, unattractive looks, reared in a bad neighborhood, owning nothing, surrounding himself with unattractive co-workers, and dying a shameful death – I find his whole approach unable to fit into the methods that automatically come to mind when I think about “winning the world.” His whole approach could easily be described as nonthreatening or nonmanipulative. He seemed to lead with weakness in each step of life. He had nothing in the world and everything in God and the Spirit.”
― Gayle D. Erwin, The Jesus Style
In 2010, my husband and I decided we were going to leave Oregon and spend a month and a half in Costa Rica. We felt like it was a God-guided choice and we would find wonderful things awaiting us: a mission and place to serve, a community to be connected, a growing and developing faith and relationship with the Lord. At least that’s how I imagined it. Our church community prayed for us, God opened opportunity and gave us visions and certainty, and soon we set off to find whatever it was that God had waiting for us.
We arrived and one of the first people I met and connected with happen to be the local pastor’s wife. Hallelujah! God had great things for us! My mind started spinning and I asked her about her church, searching for God’s place for me in it. The big magic would seem to end there. My husband was hesitant to jump into anything. He was even hesitant to attend church. In my fervor to grow in my faith, I honored my husband as best I could with as little arguing as I could and focused on prayer and the Word. Fast forward a year and I was attending church once in a while, mostly just with the kids. But I was helping the pastor’s wife build a preschool/kinder as a teacher's assistant. This wasn’t the big fireworks project either. It ended after one year, but it was a year that I embraced God’s guidance. I was reading my bible nightly and my coworkers (2 ladies) were a light in my life. We would meet to discuss school and take 30 minutes of each meeting to study the Word together. It sounds simple and “regular.” Isn’t that just what all “good Christians” do? But it was wonderful and together with the quiet time at night where I was reading the Word on my own, it was a season of deep and personal connection to the Lord that guides my path to this day.
A friend came down to Costa Rica with her family for a while during this time and joined us in a book club, reading David Platt’s book Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream. How fitting. We were rebelling against the American Dream just by being in Costa Rica and living in a different culture. My husband and I had moved out of our apartment and arrived in Costa Rica with only what could fit in our suitcases. Over a year later we still needed nothing more and I began to realize the big fancy mission project or Mother Teresa worthy life wasn’t necessary either. I was building my personal relationship with the Lord in a way I never would have, had I depended on a community of people, other people to give me answers, showy events or acts to brag about. God was telling me WAIT in such a powerful whisper that it slowed me down and opened my ears and my heart to listen. God was saying SURRENDER to what is - don’t chase after the picture I painted in my head, however righteous that picture was. God was saying LOVE in a way that is difficult and only feels good when you’re through it. God said GRACE, for experiences and people that I longed to live up to the greatness I envisioned. God moved my heart ever so slightly in the smallest and most powerful ways, highlighting the little things that make all the difference. And He still does. And I still only need what can fit in a few suitcases… what matters is what I carry in my heart.
I came across the book The Jesus Style by Gayle D. Erwin. I carried it with me. I sort of read it a few times, or more. I’ve slowly been getting back through the chapters and it challenges me in such simple, deep, and at times difficult ways. I continue to struggle with my desire for greatness (lingering remnants of the American Dream) when I think about my goals and my vision for my life. But if it is to follow Jesus, I must wait, surrender, love and have grace, over and over and over again. These are daily reminders I need for the little things, the choices we make regularly. One of my coworkers in that school and a bible study friend shared with us one day how she prays about everything. A casual disclosure in a short chat over snack time with the kids that stuck with me for all these years. When she makes her grocery list and again when she is walking around the store, she prays about what to buy, that it’s the right choice financially and for the health and well being of her family. Small prayers and small actions that are God-focused are truly the grandest of all things. A quote on my desk right now shares this sentiment:
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world” ― Anne Frank
This reminds me that even to make a big difference, small prayers and small actions that are God focused are truly the grandest of all things. How wonderful that small choices bring us closer to God and our waiting on the Lord can be a simple act of remaining connected and realigning when we stumble. In November, it is a great thing to remember to be grateful. Then comes December and what a great thing to celebrate Jesus. But let’s not make it a “season.” And let’s not get lost in the lights, but turn deep into our hearts as we wait on the Lord, drawing closer to Him in patient, loving and graceful surrender. His arrival is not our party to plan for, but our gift to be ready to receive.
About the Author
Leona is a wife, mother and traveler who is intrigued by how different people live. Her latest project is exploring ways that different walks of life can simplify, in order to live a fulfilling journey.