Human beings are complicated, messy, captivating creatures. If we consider that we are made in the image of a God who can never be fully comprehended or defined, it’s no wonder that we, too, are beings whose complexity extends beyond our own mental capacity. And as someone who has devoted my career to supporting others in navigating the muddy waters of emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and relationships; while dabbling in the inner workings of my own heart and soul through therapy and spiritual direction, I find that I’ve just barely scratched the surface of the range of human experience.
Hebrews 4:12 paints a vivid picture of not only how poignant the word of God is, but also provides a skeleton of the layers existing within one human being:
Hebrews 4:12 (NLT)
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.
Within us there is soul, spirit, joint and marrow, thoughts and desires. And God’s word acknowledges and engages with every part of us.
As an Enneagram 9*, I have learned that I have a unique relationship with my own emotions. I pursue peace before all else, and have found that I can fairly effectively achieve that peace by muting my own emotions while devoting my energy toward supporting and “managing” the emotions of those around me. This is in effort to accommodate others’ needs, indicated by the emotions they are expressing, while planning to address my own needs and emotions “later” (or not at all).
Though this might provide some sense of respite and calm, the reality is that God did not create us to feel with the intention that we would numb those feelings at our convenience. He created us with a broad spectrum of emotions, to be used as indicators or messengers--communicating to the outside world what our internal needs are. By disregarding my own feelings for the sake of supporting others, I was really just stifling energy that would eventually bubble up at other (often inconvenient) times. Talk about messy!
As I have worked through a few years of therapy, spiritual direction, self-reflection and maturing, I have begun to peel back the first few layers of numbed emotions and discovered some of the important messages my body and heart had been trying to communicate all these years. This has been heart-wrenching, empowering work that has invited me to experience a more authentic connection with the Holy Spirit as I am more tuned in to the internal world of emotions and spirit.
But, as all things in life seem to require, I discovered a need for balance. While our individual bank of emotions has important things to say, those messages must be interpreted through the lens of the Holy Spirit. Standalone emotions are subject to getting tangled, misunderstood, or overly dominant in relation to the other important components God has created within us (i.e. soul, spirit, and body).
We can trust that when we read of God’s provision in Psalm 104, His intention is for us to experience good, as the Source that meets our needs. So when we tune into our emotions, listening for the messages that inform us of our body, soul and mind’s needs, it is to be done through the lens of our good Father. His Spirit can sort out what is helpful and empower us to respond to what is needed. He is the source of our healing and will lead us to the waters that heal, when our emotions are communicating brokenness. His beauty is the culmination of all joy and celebration, to provide a “cherry on top” of our feelings of peace, gladness and gratitude.
Ultimately, the antidote to complexity is curiosity. As we continue to navigate our own internal systems while walking through our life journey, may we do so through the graceful guidance of our Father’s love.
*Follow this link to learn more about the Enneagram tool, and the 9 distinct types that it outlines.
About the Author
Britni is a quiet but fearless spirit who is earnestly seeking the beauty of the redemption that Jesus has personally determined for her life. Committed to the truth that listening breeds understanding and understanding results in compassion, she clings to the power of life’s stories. She has embarked on the venture of discovering her own story and lending an ear to the stories lived out in others and savors the trace of Jesus that is woven throughout them all. Currently, that journey has landed her in a balancing act between the role of wife, momma, and a mental health Care Coordinator.