Community Prayer Guide | February 2019

Each month we receive an updated Community Prayer Guide from One Hope ministry network that helps the church draw near to God and pray for various areas of our city life together. We invite you to take time to join hundreds of people who are praying each month for 10 strategic areas that shape our community's culture.

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One Church - One Day Community Prayer February 2019

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matt.7:7-8

Church
Pray for the power of the Holy Spirit to be poured out upon every church/ministry for life transformation.
Pray for God to give clear vision and plans to every church and ministry leadership team.
Pray for local churches and Jesus-followers to demonstrate the love and wisdom of God in public life.
Pray for healthy, good and strong relationships between all pastors & ministry leaders in our community.

Education
Pray for the Bethel School District's new suicide prevention program to be effective and intervene in the lives
of vulnerable students.
Pray for God to lead the process and selection of the next Springfield School Superintendent.
Pray for God to provide a centrally-located facility for ECCO, 4J’s alternative high school, so they can best
serve students.
Pray that Christian educators would be discerning, and effectively rise above spiritual battles in classrooms,
on campuses, and in student lives.
Pray for effective strategies, needed resources and volunteers to increase the number of third graders reading at grade level.

Government
Pray for the implementation of the TAC Report (Technical Assistance Collaborative): A comprehensive city/county strategic plan to house the unhoused.
Pray for clear understanding, community support, and for provision.
Pray for community harmony, support and funding for the new county courthouse development.
Pray for God’s wisdom, love and direction to be upon all of our government leaders and their families.
Pray for synergy among non-profits, government & the Church to keep youth housed, in school and thriving.
Pray for peace and safety within and around the newly-moved homeless camp on Highway 99.
Pray for the Lord’s shalom in our community narrative and public discourse.

Business
Pray for healthy & prosperous wealth development that advances the Lord’s purposes in our community.
Pray for government and business leaders to have God’s wisdom to create plans that encourage new businesses/jobs to be developed and established in our community.
Pray for positive, encouraging & supportive relationships among our business, government & faith sectors. Pray for businesses and business leaders to be a vital part of increasing affordable housing.

Family
Pray for God to turn the hearts of fathers to their children and for the hearts of children to be turned towards their fathers. Pray for fathers to take their servant leadership role at home and in church.
Pray for struggling adults, teens and children to have hope, be loved and rescued from suicide.
Pray for struggling families to have barriers removed and have access to affordable homes.
Pray for God to strengthen and empower marriages in our community: to love and care for each other,
to be healthy models of love for children, and to add to the strength and security of our community.
Pray for God to empower the “TIPS” class that equips foster parents to raise children impacted by trauma.

Arts
Pray for art instructors to be drawn to know their Wonderful Creator.
Pray for musicians in the local music scene to be loved by Jesus-people and led into a relationship with Christ.
Pray for God to empower local artists to illustrate His love, creativity and truth.
Pray for the Lord to guide the Hult Center towards family-friendly artistic acts for the next season.
Pray for the EUG404 art group to experience the Lord’s love and truth.

Health Care
Pray for those struggling with mental illness and physical disabilities to experience the love of Christ.
Pray for local health care providers to honor the beginning and ending of life.
Pray for health care providers to speak truth and bring healing to those struggling with gender dysphoria.
Pray for God to use health care workers, teachers, parents and friends to be empowered to bring hope, healing and rescue to those struggling with suicidal thoughts.

Police and Fire Departments
Pray for our local police, sheriff and fire departments to be fully staffed by men & women of noble character.
Pray for the Lord’s hand to prevent all “false alarm” 911 calls in our community.
Pray for the wisdom, peace and safety of those serving in our police and fire departments.
Pray for effective collaboration in the multi-agency effort to stop narcotic distribution in our community.
Pray for “dispatch coordination” between agencies to operate with greater wisdom & collaboration.
Pray for first responders to have favor and positive interactions with the public, judges, lawyers & the media.

Media
Pray for local TV, Radio and Print Media employees to be guided by God’s hand.
Pray for local media leaders to have clear vision and wisdom to effectively lead our local media organizations.
Pray for truthful, fair and accurate reporting in all areas of local media.
Pray for positive and uplifting stories to be highlighted.

Sports
Pray for the Lord’s blessing to be on LCC Athletics: the students, staff and coaches.
Pray for God’s guidance in all local preparations for the 2021 World Track and Field Championships.
Pray for safety, protection and peace over every public sporting event.
Pray for God’s blessing, wisdom and protection on all Christ-following coaches at every level.
Pray for better training for youth coaches, and for more quality coaches to serve long-term.

Find answers to prayer on our website: onehopenetwork.org/testimonies.

The “Aha” Moment! | Revelation

Revelation. That’s one of those scary words that I usually leave to the theologians and my friends that went to seminary. What would I know about revelation? But as I reflected on it in recent weeks, many thoughts came to me. And I realized that revelation comes in many different ways, usually when we’re not expecting it. And sometimes we don’t even recognize it for what it is. When we do, we experience a blessing that can’t be explained.

Sometimes that “Aha!” moment will come to me through other people. Someone will interpret a truth of God in a fresh way that I’d never thought of before, in a lecture, book, song, sermon, or even a Facebook post. I’ll hear it and think, “Hey, that makes sense to me now!” or “I’d never thought of it that way before!” and I’m grateful for the fresh or deeper understanding of something I’d wrestled with or only scratched the surface of.

Usually for me, it comes from reading something again, but understanding it a new way due to my own more recent experiences. This has happened for me a lot when reading my Bible. Depending on what I had recently gone through or am experiencing at the time, a certain verse or passage will just mean so much more to me than it ever had before. The Psalms have had this effect on me many times. Once in our twenties, my stepsister and I had gotten sucked into a class action suit and were being countersued by a bank we had both previously worked for. We would call each other and cry on the phone because we were so scared. But then I would read the Psalms, where David wrestles with many different kinds of giants in his life, and remembers that God is on his side. These verses meant so much more to me because of what I was experiencing.

Occasionally, the “Aha” moment will just be remembering something simple but profound that I’d buried in my mind and not taken to heart for a while. I recently had this experience. Work itself had been fine that day, but the workplace environment had been discouraging. When I finally realized consciously that I was discouraged, suddenly I remembered that God exists. That was it. God exists. Immediately my heart lifted. I was surprised at the instant effect. I’ve always believed that God existed, so why did it strike me in such a way just then? Instant revelation from His heart to mine. He didn’t shame me for forgetting Him, but reminded me that since He exists, it also means He’s good, He’s in control, and everything else that I believe is true about Him. All of that came to me in an instant, and flooded me with relief.

Matthew 16:17
Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in Heaven.”

Sometimes it feels like He’s silent. But I believe (based on my experiences) that if we are waiting patiently to hear from Him, spending time with Him in whatever way we know how to, then when our hearts are ready, we’ll hear what we need to know. We’ll understand truth in a fresh way. And we will be blessed by that moment, however dramatic or simple it is.

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About the Author

Jessie is an educator, currently in the role of academic advisor at a charter school after teaching there and overseas. She is also a novice writer, with several books in various stages and a (long-neglected) blog about the journeys of women. She is very excited to join the CitySalt blog team. She has been blessed by a few communities of Christian writers that have encouraged her dream. She lives with her trusty sidekick cat, Arwen in the foothills of South Eugene, where she can go hiking within minutes of the sun coming out from behind the clouds.

The “Aha” Moment! | Come Be a Fool as Well

1 Corinthians 1:25, 27-31
“For God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength...God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is low and despised in the world, things that are not, to reduce to nothing things that are, so that no one might boast in the presence of God. He is the source of your life in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification and redemption, in order that, as it is written, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.’”

When I was sixteen, I had a mad crush on a college boy, who I met through a local summer camp. He was very invested in following Jesus, and I was very invested in following him. We started a postal correspondence, because even though Queen Elizabeth II sent her first email in 1976, I am not an early adopter of technology and didn’t get my first account until I was out of high school (and that was to correspond with an entirely different boy, because I didn’t make very forward-thinking choices between the ages of sixteen and twenty two).

Anyway, in one of those letters sent through the U.S. postal service, my camp friend included a piece of paper with the following song lyrics typed on them:

Seems I've imagined Him all of my life
As the wisest of all of mankind
But if God's Holy wisdom is foolish to men
He must have seemed out of His mind

For even His family said He was mad
And the priests said a demon's to blame
But God in the form of this angry young man
Could not have seemed perfectly sane

When we in our foolishness thought we were wise
He played the fool and He opened our eyes
When we in our weakness believed we were strong
He became helpless to show we were wrong

And so we follow God's own fool
For only the foolish can tell-
Believe the unbelievable
And come be a fool as well

So come lose your life for a carpenter's son
For a madman who died for a dream
And you'll have the faith His first followers had
And you'll feel the weight of the beam

So surrender the hunger to say you must know
Have the courage to say I believe
For the power of paradox opens your eyes
And blinds those who say they can see

So we follow God's own Fool
For only the foolish can tell
Believe the unbelievable,
And come be a fool as well

Here it is performed live:

Following Jesus doesn’t make sense, and I’m not sure it’s supposed to. It doesn’t make any more sense to break from our surrounding culture’s status quo now than it did for Jesus to go up against the occupying powers of Rome, or the religious elite of Israel. It doesn’t make sense to give everything we have to the poor, to turn the other cheek when we’re harmed, to pursue peace at the risk of our own lives. It doesn’t make sense to eat, spend, and live in ways that put ourselves last and others first. In a world of swords and guns and drones, it’s foolish to love our enemies and pray for our persecutors...downright dangerous, even.

And yet.

Come be a fool, as well.

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About the Author

Sarah is the author of Vegangelical: How Caring for Animals Can Shape Your Faith (Zondervan, 2016) and Animals Are Not Ours (No, Really, They’re Not): An Evangelical Animal Liberation Theology (Cascade Books, 2016). She spends her days working for CreatureKind, helping Christians put their faith into action. She lives in Eugene with her husband, son, and animal companions and enjoys action movies, black coffee, the daily crossword, and dreaming of her next international journey.

The “Aha” Moment!

We’ve all had one. That moment when we finally “get it.” When something you’ve been stewing on, a wall you’ve been up against, or a solution or insight you’ve desperately sought finally breaks. A pastor of mine years ago called it by its biblical name: revelation - “quickened by the Holy Spirit”. In modern parlance, the delightfully descriptive “Aha”.

I’ve always been intrigued and delighted, while equally frustrated by the creative process. It's a mystery. How are things unseen revealed? The human brain is a deep reservoir of life experience, an organic and life-giving engine of constant change, a perplexing soup of fresh learning and old memories responding to present situations.

And frequently, our brain runs on autopilot. In crisis, we get left behind and “stuck”, unable to understand what’s happening, or even why. I think it has less to do with smarts, and more with the emotional shrapnel of the battlefield - negativity flooding our senses and the smokescreen lies of our self-talk.

Be it simple, everyday, creative endeavors or answers to life’s situational and big picture questions, we yearn for a new discovery, something to match this fresh pain. Life is adventure, right?

Sometimes I picture our God as the Jedi Master, sans the Yoda ears, always teaching and training. He understands us and our situation intimately, but we don’t. With his divine and far-reaching perspective, he operates his expertly crafted lesson plan, while continually modifying it to adapt to our responses (and new mistakes). We gave him permission, after all.

And confounding us, he withholds bits and pieces of information, probably so we don’t get too discouraged and quit...until the time is just right, and when we’re content in our learned humility. Our heart is soft with trust. Our eyes are looking up, not down. He moves some final pieces on his chessboard and we start to sense a change coming. A change is coming. It’s time.

It hits us in a flash flood of understanding, relief, joy and gratitude. Ah-HA! The Big Reveal - Revelation!

Is all this just adventurous creativity on God’s part? From our end, it may just seem like garden-variety pain and frustration. But for our mysterious Creator, the same one whose galaxies are continuing to expand even after his epic initial burst, why not? Always creating. Always redeeming. He's always changing us with a great plan.

I wonder if we could adopt this fantastic creative insight from our Creator, direct it inside, then apply it toward others around us who are in process too (Aha - aren’t we all the same)? If perhaps not ever knowing the satisfaction of universal understanding, could we still know him, I mean REALLY know his character, and his ways? And could we always be generous with our hope, that he would indeed perfect us, and others, in his time? Seems like a great position to be in.

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About the Author

Terry is a man in constant motion to explore new horizons. He has a thirst for new places and faces, and a deep love for the natural world - with a weakness for waterfalls and sunsets. All of this venturing out helps to both ground and inspire him, because it opens him up to people, with their vast, collective array of experiences, outlooks and responses.

He finds all of this fascinating and sees that it has encouraged the growth of something crucial in his Christian development: empathy and compassion toward his brothers and sisters on this planet.

Community Prayer Guide | January 2019

Each month we receive an updated Community Prayer Guide from One Hope ministry network that helps the church draw near to God and pray for various areas of our city life together. We invite you to take time to join hundreds of people who are praying each month for 10 strategic areas that shape our community's culture.

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One Church - One Day Community Prayer January 2019

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2

Church
Pray for God to give clear vision and plans to every church and ministry leadership team.
Pray that God provides a new warehouse for Love INC, a local ministry that mobilizes churches to serve others.
Pray for local churches & Jesus- followers to demonstrate the love and wisdom of God in public life.
Pray for healthy, good and strong relationships among all pastors and ministry leaders in our community.
Pray for God to refresh, strengthen, and unify local pastors & leaders at the Prayer Summit at Cannon Beach.

Education
Pray for God to lead the process and selection of the next Springfield School Superintendent.
Pray for educators to be refreshed & empowered in order to start 2019 with fresh eyes, empathy, and effectiveness.
Pray that Christian educators would be discerning, and effectively rise above spiritual battles in classrooms, on campuses, and in student lives.
Pray for Christian students and student groups to be more connected and visible at LCC.

Family
Pray for God to strengthen, refresh and provide for single moms and dads.
Pray for God to empower the “TIPS” class that equips foster parents to raise children impacted by trauma.
Pray for struggling adults, teens and children to have hope, be loved and rescued from suicide.
Pray for struggling families to have barriers removed and have access to affordable homes.
Pray for God to strengthen and empower marriages in our community: to love and care for each other, to be healthy models of love for children, and to add to the strength and security of our community.

Government
Pray for peace and safety within and around the new homeless camp on Highway 99.
Pray for the Lord’s shalom in our community narrative and public discourse.
Pray for God’s wisdom, love and direction to be upon all of our government leaders and their families.
Pray for local government housing plans to implement the best solutions for people to be safely housed.
Pray for synergy among non-profits, government & the Church to keep children housed, in school and thriving.

Business
Pray for government and business leaders to have God’s wisdom and guidance in plans for new property development that encourages new businesses/jobs to be established in our community.
Pray for positive, encouraging & supportive relationships among our business, government & faith sectors. Pray for businesses and business leaders to be a vital part of increasing affordable housing.
Pray for national, state and local governments to create policies that strengthen small businesses.
Pray for God’s hand and direction to be on the local tech community’s “Silicon Shire Initiative” (an effort to increase collaboration and supportive infrastructure for our growing tech sector).

Arts
Pray for God’s hand to be on the UO dance & music departments; pray for believers to be “salt & light” there. Pray for the Emerald Art Center: for the Lord to guide the selection of new leadership & direction.
Pray for God to guide, bless and provide for the Eugene Opera.
Pray for the Lord to pour out His Spirit upon the Gospel Concert in honor of MLK at the UO.
Pray it would have wide impact and draw many from the community and university.

Health Care
Pray for barriers to be removed and for more resources in ER departments to treat addiction.
Pray for “Stop & Think,” a value-based sexual abstinence program, to be in every middle and high school.
Pray for health care providers to speak truth and bring healing to those struggling with gender dysphoria.
Pray for God to use health care workers, teachers, parents and friends to be empowered to bring hope, healing, and rescue to those struggling with suicidal thoughts.

Police and Fire Departments
Pray for the Lord’s hand to prevent all “false alarm” 911 calls in our community.
Pray for the wisdom, peace and safety of those serving in our police and fire departments.
Pray for financial provision for all law enforcement budgets: Eugene, Springfield, Junction City & Lane County. Pray for effective collaboration in the multi-agency effort to stop narcotic distribution in our community.
Pray for “dispatch coordination” between agencies to operate with greater wisdom & collaboration.

Media
Pray for truthful, fair and accurate reporting in all areas of local media.
Pray for positive and uplifting stories to be highlighted.
Pray for local media leaders to have clear vision and wisdom to effectively lead our local media organizations. Pray for local TV, Radio and Print Media employees to be guided by God’s hand.

Sports
Pray for safety, protection and peace over every public sporting event.
Pray for the Lord’s blessing to be on KidSports Athletics: the kids, staff, coaches and referees.
Pray for God’s blessing, wisdom and protection on all Christ following coaches at every level.
Pray for better training for youth coaches, and for more quality coaches to serve long-term.

Find answers to prayer on our website: onehopenetwork.org/testimonies.

Reflection on Sunday’s Sermon | The Who

Despite the title, this is not a story about that band from the 60’s and 70’s. Instead it’s a look inside what has developed in my understanding since Randi preached at church last Sunday on the New Testament letter to Titus, presumed by some to have been written by Paul.

Randi not only described the details of this short epistle, but “zoomed out” to highlight a principle that is exceedingly important for all of us. The principle is that we are not just to look at the “what” we are encouraged to do. We would do well to look beyond the “what” to the “why”. Why are we doing something or encouraged to do something? This brings much more depth and meaning to the situation. If we understand the “why” of our actions, the “whats” are almost incidental. Not that the “whats” are unimportant, but they are not the chief point; they are secondary.

But that’s not all. Randi then pointed out that beyond the “why” is an even greater reality. It is the “who”. In Titus, as truly everywhere in the Bible, the “who” beyond the “what” and “why” is God, the One who loves us, empowers us and trains us up in the way we should go.

For a few minutes of reflection on this during the service, Randi encouraged us to try and discern where we might be looking at the “whats” in our lives without seeing the “whys” or the “who”.

As I was contemplating this, I became aware that oftentimes I did see a “who”… but it wasn’t God. It was me. Good ol’ me, myself and I. In a moment of sweet conviction, I realized how self-referential I am. I became aware suddenly of how much I want to take control, or stay in control, of things in my life. Do I really look to God to follow Him and be transformed by Him or do I most often just want Him to bless me…….just as I am.

All of this has made me more aware of how I approach God and how I approach the reading of Scripture. Do I come to Him (or it) full of self-importance and an ego at the center of its own universe or do I come to Him humbly, with an open mind and heart, ready to receive what He, the “Greater Who”, the “Greatest Who”, would want to give me or teach me or encourage me to do?

I look forward to the day when I more automatically see God in, behind, beneath, above or around all things, including the Scriptures. I am beginning to see that God’s admonition to “die to the self” means more than just stopping or starting certain behaviors (the what), and even more than knowing the reason why it would be good to stop or start those behaviors. I believe Jesus wants us to see Him, first and foremost, in everything, as the giver of living water, the healer, the lover of our souls, the Creator of new creations, the One in whom we live and breathe and have our being.

Acts 17:28
‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’

2 Corinthians 5:17
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Matthew 16:25
For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.

Ephesians 4:22-24
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

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About the Author

John has been an essential component to the life and development of CitySalt since 2004 and, presently, serves as an associate pastor with a focus on prayer, discipleship and spiritual direction in addition to being a regular part of the teaching team. He enjoys the outdoors, water sports, music, reading and especially spending time with his wonderful family and chocolate lab, Gunnar.

4th Sunday of Advent | Love: Mini Advents: Spreading LOVE & Making Space for God

1 John 4:7-8 NIV
"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

• Because God is love.

• For love comes from God.

• Dear friends, let us love one another.

I was not raised by religious parents. Celebrating traditions in Christianity were not part of my childhood. Yet I am so incredibly grateful – every, single, day, - for the life that the Lord has given me; hardships included.

As I search for guidance on what to write for the fourth advent week, I can’t help but pause at the pattern of the four weeks. It is a familiar pattern that I believe is meant to be a model for our lives.

This pattern begins by wishing, wanting, hoping for something. Still, we don’t get overwhelmed in our desire, rather we find peace in our faith that our hope will one day be realized. This knowing brings joy to our hearts and as joy helps to open our hearts, Love can flow freely from above, to around us, and back up in gratitude.

I am humbled by our lack of understanding when faced with God’s greatness. I cannot pretend to comprehend His great design, but God must have not designed this process lightly. There must have been much care and attention put on this process; both in the worldly structure (hope for provisions, success, relationships) and within us as His creations (hope for His guidance, His gift of eternal life). Regardless of what we are hoping for, with peace and joy, Love can spread and grow within us.

Are we constantly living mini advents year-round? Do you hope for things? Believe in them and live in faith for those things? Does this bring you joy? Do you spread Love when you are experiencing joy?

“Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God”

Could this be a recipe for making space for God in our lives? For God’s pattern was this - Jesus came, gave us hope in salvation and left us with peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Max Lucado seems to have said something similar. In the article, “Max Lucado Launches John 3:16 Movement” his take on John 3:16 is discussed:

Max Lucado, author of 3:16: The Numbers of Hope, calls the well-known verse “a 26-word parade of hope: beginning with God, ending with life, and urging us to do the same.”

“John 3:16 has always been that one verse that I thought summarizes, encapsulates, [and] carries the heart of the Gospel like no other verse,” Lucado said Monday on Christian Broadcasting Network's The 700 Club.

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life, John 3:16 states. (Christianpost.com)

For God so LOVED the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Because God loved the world, He sent us hope, the Prince of Peace, that whoever believes and holds this hope, will have eternal life.

The last key step in bringing God and love to our lives, to this world; we must now choose to make space in our lives for the Holy Spirit to thrive and spread Love.

For no cake was ever baked without the action of making it. While God is all powerful, He wants our participation in the kitchen.

This month (and beyond) I will look for His presence and make space for it in my life by having hope and living in the peace and joy of that hope.

This way I can both honor God’s gift of Jesus and prepare for His return, by living in Love, by living with God here and now.

Peter 1:22-23
“Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.”

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About the Author

Leona is a wife, mother and traveler who is intrigued by how different people live. Her latest project is exploring ways that different walks of life can simplify, in order to live a fulfilling journey.

3rd Sunday of Advent | Serious Joy

It’s funny, these things of God. They are usually simple, and yet also totally complex.

Take for instance, joy. Who doesn’t like joy? Who doesn’t want to be joyful? But on the other hand, joy? Really? It’s a good thing, yes. But there are serious things in this world. Serious issues and serious needs, serious plans and serious pain. Is it even ok to be joyful?

Like many things in God’s Kingdom, joy is complex… Joy can look so uniquely different to each person. What does joy look like to you? What comes to mind when you think of joy? To me, off the top of my head, joy is the sweet smiles and piercing giggles of glee from my boys. It’s catching a glimpse of a mountain, with a sunset behind it, and a person standing on the very top. Joy is the feeling in my chest when you walk in the room, and I get to hug you. Joy is the swirl of creamer as it sinks into the beautiful brown coffee in my favorite cup. These are the things that come right to mind when I think of joy. What about you?

I am 100% confident, though, that I don’t even scratch the surface when it comes to understanding joy. I believe joy is a deep, layered mystery. An important mystery. As a word, it’s mentioned in the Bible hundreds of times – it’s a reaction, a command, an attribute of God, a thing, a feeling... The Bible has an awful lot to say about joy. My favorites are where it says that the joy of the Lord is our strength and in God’s Presence is fullness of Joy - how cool is that? There are so many layers to this joy thing. The more I look into it, the more I feel the invitation to dive in even deeper.

So this Advent Season, let’s take time for joy. As we pause and make room for Jesus in our hearts, He can’t help but talk to us about joy! His birth was announced with joy, He endured the cross for the joy set before Him, and He gave us the Holy Spirit, who’s Presence produces joy.

Joy. Serious joy. The mystery of joy, the strength of joy, the certainty of joy, and yes, maybe even the dancing silly giggles of joy! Let serious joy meet you this season, wherever you find yourself. In grief, let joy be a silent but strong arm to lean on. Or in celebration, let joy join you on the dance floor. Because joy isn’t one thing or the other. Joy is the affirmation that love wins, joy is a part of God that is beyond our understanding… except that we can trust it and it is good. Joy is not an expectation, a manufactured feeling, or a performance. Importantly, joy isn’t up to us. Joy was God’s idea.

I’ll close with a spoken word piece that really resonates with my heart and expresses way more eloquently than I what I am trying to say. Also if you’re feeling inspired to dig into the mysteries of serious joy, there’s a list of some scriptures I have been sitting in this week to get your thoughts going!

To close, I pray for us all, that we each get blessed with a new layer of serious joy this Christmas that meets us with open arms right where we are.

SPOKEN WORD:

What does joy look like?

When hope is nigh,
Does it dress itself in wonder?
Does it cower in defeat?

What is the source of your joy?

Is it hopes and dreams newly kindled?
A new love bursting at its seams
Promises fulfilled

Does it manifest in silent hope,
The toothless smile eclipsed on the tender visage of a newborn?

Is it born out of moment or is it a discipline?

Is it ephemeral,
Does it ebb and flow between conscious thanksgiving and quiet reverence?

Nehemiah said to the Israelites,
Do not be grieved for the joy of the lord is your strength.

What happens when grief is not compatible with joy?

What if my pain doesn’t echo the melodies within a praise song?

What if my heart is too preoccupied with its rupture to see the Father beckoning still?

Joy is not the absence of pain.

Yet it stands in the midst of chaos and destruction and
Locks arms with peace, hope and love and resounds I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN

It is the inner dwelling of the chambers of the Father’s promises

Laced with purpose, joy infuses the most broken of futures and claims, however incredulous, there is a good and expected end.

Joy is the Father’s love song to the narrow crevices, the deepest cavities our soul.

And it sings:

YOU SHALL OVERCOME

YOU SHALL OVERCOME

YOU SHALL OVERCOME

-Spoken word by Ollie Danner

Verses to consider:
Luke 1:8-14
Psalm 16:11
Nehemiah 8:10
John 15:9-11
Colossians 1:11-12
Isaiah 35:10
Isaiah 49:13

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About the Author

Pam is a fun and encouraging team-builder that brings the best to those around her. She loves people and is committed to serving and mentoring kids, women and families with opportunities to grow closer to God and each other.

Pam is currently serving as Children and Family Pastor at Valley Christian Center in Albany. Pam and her husband, Jared, have been married since 2005 and have three boys. Their family will always be a much loved part of our CitySalt family.

Community Prayer Guide | December 2018

Each month we receive an updated Community Prayer Guide from One Hope ministry network that helps the church draw near to God and pray for various areas of our city life together. We invite you to take time to join hundreds of people who are praying each month for 10 strategic areas that shape our community's culture.

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One Church - One Day Community Prayer December 2018

“On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.” Matthew 2:11

Church
Pray for Christmas celebrations: for God to empower church/ministry outreaches and events.
Pray for the Lord to draw all people to follow Jesus through Gospel and Christmas presentations.
Pray that God provides a new warehouse for Love INC, a local ministry that mobilizes churches to serve others.
Pray for your pastor’s marriage to be strengthened and nurtured. Pray for their overall well-being: physically, relationally, emotionally and financially.

Education
Pray for school district leaders to wisely steward new funding approved through November’s election.
Pray the funding is used to its fullest potential to benefit the most students.
Pray for God to lead educators in a comprehensive and effective strategy to increase students' reading levels to meet national standards by 3rd grade. Currently, only 52% of local 3rd graders read at grade level.
Pray for Christian educators to cultivate peaceful environments and be ambassadors of peace for students, parents, and their co-workers.
Pray for effective collaboration between school counselors, social service providers and mental health professionals to holistically care for students.

Family
Pray for God to empower the “TIPS” class that equips foster parents to raise children impacted by trauma.
Pray for God to “set the lonely in families:” for isolated people to be welcomed into family & friend gatherings.
Pray for struggling adults, teens and children to have hope, be loved and rescued from suicide.
Pray for struggling families to have barriers removed and have access to affordable homes.
Pray for God to strengthen and empower marriages in our community: to love and care for each other, to be healthy models of love for children, and to add to the strength and security of our community.

Government
Pray for the Lord’s shalom in our community narrative and public discourse.
Pray for God’s wisdom, love and direction to be upon all of our government leaders and their families.
Pray for local government housing plans to implement the best solutions for people to be safely housed.
Pray for clear, open and effective communication between our government agencies and citizens.
Pray for synergy among non-profits, government & the Church to keep children housed, in school and thriving.

Business
Pray for government and business leaders to have God’s wisdom and guidance in plans for new property development that encourages new businesses/jobs to be established in our community.
Pray for positive, encouraging & supportive relationships among our business, government & faith sectors. Pray for businesses and business leaders to be a vital part of increasing affordable housing.
Pray for national, state and local governments to create policies that strengthen small businesses.
Pray for God’s hand and direction to be on the local tech community’s “Silicon Shire Initiative.”

Arts
Pray for every local Christmas production to honor God and be graced with His love & presence.
Pray for God’s hand to be on the UO dance & music departments; pray for believers there to be “salt & light.”
Pray for the Emerald Art Center: for the Lord to guide the selection of new leadership & direction.
Pray for God to guide, bless and provide for the Eugene Opera.

Health Care
Pray for Jesus-following health care providers to clearly present Jesus in word and deed.
Pray for health care providers to understand and speak out about the dangers of opioid & marijuana use.
Pray for health care providers to embrace & communicate Godly perspectives on bioethical issues
(i.e. beginning & end of life issues).
Pray for God to use health care workers, teachers, parents and friends to be empowered to bring hope, healing and rescue to those struggling with suicidal thoughts.

Police and Fire Departments
Thank the Lord for His protection over our fire and police departments during the arson ambush
in October.
Pray for God to heal every first responder and their family from the trauma of October’s ambush.
Pray for the wisdom, peace and safety of those serving in our police and fire departments.
Pray for financial provision for all law enforcement budgets: Eugene, Springfield, Junction City & Lane County.
Pray for God to expose and bring to justice main narcotics dealers. Pray for narcotic distribution to stop.
Pray for “dispatch coordination” between agencies to operate with greater wisdom & collaboration.

Media
Pray for truthful, fair and accurate reporting in all areas of local media.
Pray for positive and uplifting stories to be highlighted.
Pray for local media leaders to have clear vision and wisdom to effectively lead our local media organizations.
Pray for local TV, Radio and Print Media employees to be guided by God’s hand.

Sports
Pray for safety, protection and peace over every public sporting event.
Pray for the Lord’s blessing to be on Junction City Athletics: the kids, staff, coaches and referees.
Pray for God’s blessing, wisdom and protection on all Christ following coaches at all levels; college & youth.
Pray for peace & strength for local athletes who face scrutiny and pressure from negative social media.
Pray for better training for youth coaches, and for more quality coaches to serve long-term.

Find answers to prayer on our website: onehopenetwork.org/testimonies.

2nd Sunday of Advent | Peace: Oh Come, Thou Dayspring

Isaiah 11:1-9
“On that day, a shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse,
and from his roots a bud shall blossom...
Not by appearance shall he judge,
nor by hearsay shall he decide,
but he shall judge the poor with justice,
and decide aright for the land’s afflicted.
He shall strike the ruthless with the rod of his mouth,
and with the breath of his lips he shall slay the wicked.
Justice shall be the band around his waist,
and faithfulness a belt upon his hips.
Then the wolf shall be a guest of the lamb,
and the leopard shall lie down with the kid;
the calf and the young lion shall browse together,
with a little child to guide them.
The cow and the bear shall be neighbors,
together their young shall rest;
the lion shall eat hay like the ox.
The baby shall play by the cobra’s den,
and the child lay his hand on the adder’s lair.
There shall be no harm or ruin on all my holy mountain;
for the earth shall be filled with knowledge of the LORD,
as water covers the sea.”

I’ve loved singing hymns since I was a child, sitting next to my parents in church, listening to my dad harmonize and to my mom’s beautiful soprano lilt. Eventually, I learned to read the alto line, and would concentrate on being able to follow the often-unintuitive harmonic changes. I didn’t pay very close attention to the words, preferring to admire how the sound of my voice mixed with others to create beautiful noise, instead of pondering the archaic language and outdated turns-of-phrase tumbling out of my mouth.

And, I confess, there are times I read the promises of scripture much like I sang the prose of songs: without much thought as to what they really mean. Or, more specifically, what they mean I am being called to do. “Isaiah 11, yeah, the wolf and the lamb and no more hurting and killing.”

During Advent, many of us will sing the familiar refrain of Oh Come, Oh Come, Emmanuel. Here’s a version I love.

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“Oh come, thou Dayspring, come and cheer / us to thine Advent here / disperse the gloomy clouds of night / and death’s dark shadows put to flight.”

Come thou Dayspring.

A “dayspring” is the dawn of a new day, or the beginning of a new era, a new order, a new way of doing business. Far from just another sunrise on just another day, the particular dayspring of Jesus’ birth would mark a profound shift in what it meant to be alive on this earth. This Dayspring would bridge social, economic, gender, religious, health, legal, and all other divides. This Dayspring would bring hope to a people suffering under the tyrannical rule of a violent empire and to those within the empire, too. This Dayspring would turn notions of forgiveness, hospitality, and faithfulness on their heads. This Dayspring would conquer death, and show us that we can, too.

From Isaiah’s prophecy (“There shall be no harm or ruin on all my holy mountain”) to Mary’s Magnificat (“[H]e has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate”) to an 18th-century German hymnal (“death’s dark shadows put to flight”), we see that the incarnation, the enfleshing, of God signals a profound change in the same old death-dealing order of things.

And yet, I find myself thinking in ways and taking actions that give death victory. “I’m just one person, my actions won’t make a difference.” “There are so many things going wrong, I can’t think about them all.” “This is just one of the compromises I’m making to this imperfect world.” These are not the thoughts that fuel the dogged pursuit of peace, they are complacency and surrender to the lies of the Enemy.

How can we pursue peace? What choices can we make that help foster the flourishing of God’s whole creation? How can we contribute to life, and not death, to healing, and not violence? How can we love, and not fear?

A prayer, because we won’t be able to do this alone:

God for whom we wait,
Lord of night and the solemn beauty of darkness:
you have grieved over your creation,
over our swords and all the terrible weapons we fashion.
Nations and peoples live in fear: how can we make tools of our swords
or take the wages of our weapons to feed the hungry?
Give us, Lord, a love that is greater than our fear.
We wait for the Messiah,
keeping watch and praying in his name,
Jesus, who is Lord for ever and ever. Amen.

– Catholic Household Blessings and Prayers, 1988

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About the Author

Sarah is the author of Vegangelical: How Caring for Animals Can Shape Your Faith (Zondervan, 2016) and Animals Are Not Ours (No, Really, They’re Not): An Evangelical Animal Liberation Theology (Cascade Books, 2016). She spends her days working for CreatureKind, helping Christians put their faith into action. She lives in Eugene with her husband, son, and animal companions and enjoys action movies, black coffee, the daily crossword, and dreaming of her next international journey.

1st Sunday of Advent | Hope: This House Has Good Bones

Isaiah 9:2, 6
The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness, on them light has shined…For a child has been born for us, a son given to us; authority rests upon his shoulder; and he is named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

My children and I noticed Christmas lights popping up around town just after the switch to standard time in November this year, which seemed earlier than usual. “Why are people putting up their Christmas lights now?” my daughter asked me.

“Maybe they want more light,” I told her. “It’s dark so early this time of year.”

When the above scripture talks about darkness, it is talking about more than a lack of light. It is speaking of a deep spiritual darkness, one that is relevant to us today as well.

Last year I gave up reading the news for Lent, and continued my ban on news for several months longer. It was great. I could have happily gone on that way indefinitely, not knowing about migrant children being separated from their parents at our border, or the random episodes of violence that so often make the headlines. Ignorance can be bliss, at least temporarily.

But we are not called to live in ignorance, cut off from the troubles of the world. The world’s troubles continue, whether or not we recognize them. And at some point, we are all affected. We might choose not to think about climate change, for example, but it’s hard to ignore when our air becomes heavily polluted by wildfire smoke every August.

In a poem titled Good Bones, writer Maggie Smith proclaims that,

Life is short and the world
is at least half terrible, and for every kind
stranger, there is one who would break you,
though I keep this from my children. I am trying
to sell them the world. Any decent realtor,
walking you through a real dump, chirps on
about good bones: This place could be beautiful, right?
You could make this place beautiful.

We can’t ignore that we live in a land of deep darkness, as scripture says, or as Smith puts it, that the world is in large part terrible. But in spite of it, I do have an unshakeable sense of hope. I always picture a positive future for us on earth, just as it is in heaven.

Advent is here and with it we remember the coming of our King. Two thousand years ago our God chose to enter into our world in the most humble of ways, born in a manger because there was no room in the inn.

Do you wish that Jesus was here among us now, that you could sit across the table from him and get a straight answer about your big questions? I know I do. But Jesus wouldn’t give a straight answer anyway, preferring to teach through story and metaphor. Preferring to answer with a question.

Jesus was a light in the darkness. He came as our Savior, and he came to bring hope. Scripture tells us that when he left our world and ascended to heaven, we became his hands and feet.

This is an immense responsibility. We are Christ’s hands and feet. We are called collectively as Christians to be the light to the world. On a bad day, when we’ve read too many sad stories in the news, or when tragedy has touched us directly, we may say it’s too hard. We may say it hurts too much, there’s too much work to be done, I don’t know where to begin.

I imagine that if Jesus were sitting across from us at the table, he might simply say, “This place could be beautiful right? You could make this place beautiful.”

Friends, I invite you to partner with Jesus this Advent season in bringing hope to the world. Here are a few concrete ideas for how to do just that.

Do random acts of kindness. Brighten someone’s day with an unexpected act of kindness. Write an encouraging text message or email, leave quarters at a laundromat, bring cookies to your neighbor, take time to recycle, send a Christmas card to your grandma, donate your used winter clothes to our Eugene Mission Warm Drive. Small acts of kindness to others (and the planet) do make a difference.

Serve your church or other local nonprofits. If you have a heart for service, there are many opportunities within our church as well as in the community. Food for Lane County, the Eugene Mission, and Habitat for Humanity are just a few local organizations that often need volunteers. Connect with Pastor Mike for details on serving our church or ideas on connecting with local nonprofits.

Give relationally. If you’re like me and you haven’t yet completed your Christmas shopping, consider giving fewer material items and more relational or experiential gifts. This serves to strengthen relationships and create positive memories as well as cut down on waste — and it may even save you money. Relational gifts can vary widely depending on your budget, but it could be as simple as cooking a special dinner for family members.

Donate globally. Consider a donation to a nonprofit that helps the poor and marginalized in the developing world, where your dollars can make the biggest impact. One of my favorites is the Fistula Foundation, which provides life-changing surgery for women with devastating childbirth injuries in parts of Africa and Asia. Look for charities with high ratings from a reputable third party like Charity Navigator.

Visit adventconspiracy.org for more resources on living missionally during the Advent season.

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About the Author

Ursula and her husband Spencer have two young children, and their family enjoys playing hide-and-seek and dancing in the living room. She works as a communications and events coordinator with the University of Oregon. Ursula is also CitySalt’s Children’s Ministry Director. 

You can read more from Ursula at motherbearblog.com.

Tension | Lean into the Tension

I remember when I was little. We lived out in the country, and we didn’t have any neighbors close by. We loved the freedom to run wild, leave our car doors unlocked, and run outside in our pajamas. These were the upsides of country living!

The downside was the dark.

We had a woodshed that was outside our house. I’d say it was about 30 kid-sized steps from our front door to that shed. The folks kept our big garbage can out there, right beside it. During the day, we would race past the woodshed into the woods without giving it a second thought. But it was a different story at night.

I so clearly remember my Mom asking me to take a bag out to the woodshed one night. I grab the garbage and open the front door, planning to get back before the commercial break is over. I swing the door shut behind me, in such a hurry I decide not to grab my shoes. As I start out and reach the end if the porch lights, I notice that feeling… First my tummy starts to tingle in a not entirely unpleasant way. At the same time, my mind starts having staticky thoughts that aren’t exactly words but more like subtle warning bells. I tense my shoulders. I tip-toe on my toes, feeling the sharp gravel poke the pads of my feet. I move in a slow but steady pace towards the wood shed. I am brave and strong, but it sure is taking a long time to make it to the garbage can. I keep my eyes straight ahead, strenuously forcing my mind not to imagine the blackness to the right or left.

When I finally arrive at the can, I am going at a fairly crisp tip-toe pace. I open the lid, fling the garbage in, and then I lose the battle… I turn and race to the front door again, so fast I don’t notice the gravel pricking my feet, the darkness, or anything at all. I am laser focused on that front door!

And I arrive! Safe and sound. Breathing hard. I quickly look around to make sure no one noticed my panicked sprint. Once I assure myself I am safe from eyes, I laugh a little, quietly. I open the door, and step back into the wood stove warmth, the bright lights. I sit down on the couch by my brother as the show begins again, the tension forgotten. That is, until Mom asks me to take garbage out again a few nights later!

Why do I share this story? Well, you see, the trips to the garbage can happened when I was little. If memory serves me well, I traveled to the garbage can and back, in the dark, several times. And I am pretty sure the last time it happened I was a bit too old to react that way, but I still did!

Since then, a lot has changed. My parents have built a shop where the woodshed once was. I believe they still keep their big garbage can out there, but I haven’t had to take a trip to it for many, many years. And I have grown up. I’ve worked 7 jobs. I’ve lived in 14 houses. I got married. I had 3 beautiful boys. I have made many great friends, have traveled a lot, and am now 45 years old. A lot has changed.

But a part of that garbage can story still happens to me. Quite often if I’m honest. It happens when I overreact to someone’s words. When I feel insecure. When I’m overcome with a wash of shame. When I feel the tension, my first response is to ignore it. To change the subject, start something new, or totally redefine it. But I am learning instead to pause. When I sense the tension, I try to just stop for a second. In that pause, I ask myself to make the trip into the dark, to lean into the tension. At first I resist, but when I finally decide to go… my tummy starts to tingle in a not entirely unpleasant way. At the same time, my mind starts having staticky thoughts that aren’t exactly words but more like subtle warning bells. I tense up my shoulders, and my mind tip-toes towards what lies behind the shame, the insecurity, the pain, the memory.

See, to me, the dark trip at night out to the garbage created tension. And a similar tension occurs when I decide to lean into my dark side.

Human beings are awesome. God created us, as tiny humans, to be able to cope with so much that life throws our way. Before we understand things, before we can handle things, He is with us and He knows what we need to survive as children. We decide things, we hide things, we build truths, and we splinter off hurts. We are able to do what we need to do as a young child to be in the world we find ourselves. We are amazing.

And as we grow up, we get to grow up! We get to make choices. We can choose to continue in the same patterns we created as a little child. These patterns make us feel safe, and tempt us to continue doing the same things that made sense in our childhood world.

Or we can choose to accept an invitation. An invitation to lean into the tension.

There’s an invitation to explore. To explore what is behind, underneath, and in the middle of our dark side. We are invited to lean into the tension. To lean into the places that make our hearts race, make our shoulders tense. The places where we reject before we are rejected. The places where we opt out before we are not enough. To explore the parts of us we hide behind the mask that we think everyone loves. To feel the emotions that we haven’t felt for so long because it was easier to be numb. These are our tension.

And the tension is there, whether we opt in for the adventure to find out what’s beneath it or not. The tension is there. It leaks out at our family, at our friends, at ourselves. It sabotages opportunities and pushes away love. It keeps us finding ourselves in the same place, even though we moved and we changed jobs and swore we wouldn’t be here again.

The invitation is there, to lean into the tension.

For me, I realize the invitation is there more and more often. At first I resisted, with all my strength. I raced and ran and found every distraction and fun thing and opportunity to stay ahead, to stay away, to avoid the tension. And I didn’t even really realize that was what I was doing. But one day I ran out of places to run. I crashed and burned. And I cried. I cried rivers and more rivers and I didn’t know if I would ever stop. It was scary. But boy was it good!

And a beautiful friend of mine met me in my flood of tears. She told me about the tension. And shared how she had learned to use it as a tool. To observe herself, and just to notice. Not to judge or figure out or explain or fix. Just to watch. And as she watched, she became more and more aware of when the tension was there and when it wasn’t.

My wise friend also told me about her relationship with Jesus. You see, He helped her with the tension. He showed her that He was there from the start, that He has never left her, that He knows the true her beneath the walls, the lies, and the hurts and pain. That He is so proud of her. And He loves her. So much. And He would walk with her into the tension. Not every time and with no pressure. But when she was ready. When she noticed an area where she reacted or withdrew, or where she felt insecure or voiceless. She would notice the tension and when she was ready to accept the invitation, He would help her walk into the tension. She would see what had happened, and see why she had created the belief or lie. Most of all she would see He was always there, even at that time, and He never left her and always loved her. And she would be filled with love for herself, too, as she understood why she created that wall or believed that lie or avoided that pain. She often would be freed of unforgiveness or would set down a heavy load of offense. And she would find truth. Truth that would replace the tension and allow her to be her and to be true and to be loved and to be alive.

Often times, she and Jesus together would look at the tension and spend time unraveling the dark. Other times, she would ask a friend or make time with a counselor to help her do so. But He was always so faithful, always met her there, always healed and loved and filled the gaps with truth. And she began to anticipate the invitation to lean. She started to look at the moments when she felt the tension as the beginning of another area for freedom! To realize that God is that good! He created us to survive and to cope and to make it, but He doesn’t leave us there. He redeems and He brings new life and He does the impossible in us.

And I am forever grateful for her testimony and love. Thankful she shared with me this tool – to lean into the tension. And each time I accept, and I pause instead of run away, and I tip-toe step by step into the tension with Jesus by my side, I get freer and my life gets fuller. In the process, I am also learning to have grace for myself and treat myself with kindness. I am often amazed by how I survived, how I coped, how I made it. At the same time, I am looking forward to trading in the self-protection I relied on as it is no longer needed. Some days, I even get glimpses in myself of the ability to actually welcome the tension. That the insecurity, the shame, and the triggers will just make me smile because I will know that freedom lies behind them! I am not there yet. But I’m learning to lean into the tension.

And maybe this blog entry is for you. Maybe as you read this, you sense an invitation. Maybe your tummy has started to tingle in a not entirely unpleasant way. If you hear the invitation to lean into the tension, I am so excited that Jesus will meet you there. I bless you to see yourself with a lens of kindness and love, as you tip-toe towards the uncomfortable, as you lean into the tension.

Ephesians 3:20
“Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for His miraculous power constantly energizes you.”

Psalm 139:1-2
“Lord, you know everything there is to know about me. You perceive every movement of my heart and soul, and You understand my every thought before it even enters my mind.”

Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

2 Corinthians 3:17
“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.”

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About the Author

Pam is a fun and encouraging team-builder that brings the best to those around her. She loves people and is committed to serving and mentoring kids, women and families with opportunities to grow closer to God and each other.

Pam is currently serving as Children and Family Pastor at Valley Christian Center in Albany. Pam and her husband, Jared, have been married since 2005 and have three boys. Their family will always be a much loved part of our CitySalt family.

Tension | The Fixer

I remember a good movie a few years back about a man who's contract job was to, by invitation, come into a company and fix things. Mismanagement and greed had taken a toil as ethical corners were cut. The resulting issues were a jumbled mess of political, legal and interpersonal challenges, allowed to fester until things boiled over, company-wide.

We are personally every bit as complex, and as broken people, have at times left a wreckage of mistakes and consequences in our rearview mirror. How much do we affect others? For those closest to us, a lot, and not always positively. Our main mission as believers is to remain humble, teachable, and do our best to practice compassion, forgiveness, and grace. To constantly "circle around", clean up our messes and grow towards God. And the proof in the pudding - to change!

But how much can we “fix” our past? Relational regrets are bitter pills to swallow, and certainly dwelling on mistakes isn't healthy. Finding our own personal path to wholeness is hard enough, but when we don't see restoration in our way, or on our timeline, it can bring us to a pretty lonely place.

Well beyond us, the Holy Spirit is constantly "working the night shift" with our loved ones. But what's our role to play in God's redemption? His providential work includes certain boundaries in others, to be respected for sure. Others have their own baggage, unique challenges, and an identity that we should not try to manipulate.

To define and find our right influence is not easy, especially with inherent emotional entanglements of people closest to us. I don't have a lot of answers, but I do know it takes intentionality, courage, and great wisdom that only comes from sitting at the feet of the Lord, and seeking help from a few close and trusted friends. And it takes patience.

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About the Author

Terry is a man in constant motion to explore new horizons. He has a thirst for new places and faces, and a deep love for the natural world - with a weakness for waterfalls and sunsets. All of this venturing out helps to both ground and inspire him, because it opens him up to people, with their vast, collective array of experiences, outlooks and responses.

He finds all of this fascinating and sees that it has encouraged the growth of something crucial in his Christian development: empathy and compassion toward his brothers and sisters on this planet.

Tension | Between Two Worlds

It was near the end of our senior year, and it had been a fun night out with my high school friends, staying up late, watching movies, laughing over inside jokes. Still, a feeling of melancholy washed over me as I dropped my friend Giselle off at her house. “Do you ever just feel like something is wrong?” I asked her.

I didn’t have the language or emotional maturity to articulate myself clearly at that moment. But what I meant was that in spite of my insulated middle class life, my weekly church attendance, my close group of friends, and my college plans, I still felt the brokenness of our world seeping in through the cracks around me. And it was scary.

Maybe it was the fact that the Twin Towers fell that year, or that my dad was struggling with a secret addiction, or that I was sensing the impending loss of these friendships. I’m sure I was feeling all of that, and this too — creation was broken in the fall. We are living in the ruins of Eden.

I know so much more of the world’s (and my own) brokenness now than I did during that car ride home at age eighteen.

My response to brokenness has generally been to try to fix it. So, I spent a year as an AmeriCorps volunteer, recruiting mentors for children of incarcerated parents. I’ve spent Christmases serving meals to the unhoused in downtown Portland. I’ve handed out hygiene kits to prostitutes. I let my cognitively disabled, low-income neighbor borrow my vacuum, only to have it returned with fleas. I tutored a Somali refugee girl in math and reading. I became an elementary school teacher, praying with my students every morning to begin our day, about things both big and small.

In all my efforts to improve the world, I’ve learned an important lesson: I can’t fix it. I can’t, in fact, fix anything.

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

But this I can do. I can choose my response to the circumstances around me.

I still get sad sometimes about the world’s brokenness, but I see so much more of God in it now. That’s the miracle of Jesus, that He would come down into our messed up, broken world and live among us; that He would love and forgive us, pay the price for our sins and offer us the keys to his kingdom.

We may be living among ruins, but God’s kingdom is present here too at the same time, a sort of alternate reality. As Christ-followers we are dual citizens of this world and of God’s kingdom. We live in the tension between these two worlds.

Since my life centers around work with children, perhaps it’s not surprising that C.S. Lewis’ Narnia books play a strong role in my understanding of theology. When we become Christians, we too enter through a secret door hidden in the back of a wardrobe where we can encounter the living God.

“I am [in your world].’ said Aslan. ‘But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.” - C.S. Lewis

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About the Author

Ursula and her husband Spencer have two young children, and their family enjoys playing hide-and-seek and dancing in the living room. She works as a communications and events coordinator with the University of Oregon. Ursula is also CitySalt’s Children’s Ministry Director. 

You can read more from Ursula at motherbearblog.com.

Tension | God’s Strength out of My Weakness

When my Mom died, she and my Dad left a mountain of unmarked boxes filled with paper. In each box, important documents were mixed with saved magazines articles and unopened mail. As the executor, it was my job to go thru it all to find the documents required to process the estate.

After we sold the family house where my parents lived for over fifty years, I had the daunting task of attacking that mountain of boxes which now filled more than one storage unit. The overflow items filled my living room and extra bedroom. There was no place for visitors to sit because every chair, except mine, was filled with boxes and bags.

As I worked thru the pile I started to get bogged down by overthinking my decisions to donate, trash or keep items. It became harder to make progress. Letting go of objects has never been a strength of mine. I knew this project would be a marathon and it overwhelmed me.

I was raised in a performance based environment. You are judged by what you’ve done lately and how successful you were. You were always on trial hoping for approval of the important people in your life. Approval was hard to achieve and accomplishments became so important that I found myself frozen sometimes, stuck and inert, unable to take action.

I was drowning in sentimental clutter and cried out in prayer. Then suddenly, there were days in which I felt the cloud lift and my strength rise. I was finally taking the actions and making the progress I longed for. But the manifestation of deliverance did not stay. I cried out in prayer again, asking God how can I be delivered from this quicksand experience. I knew that condemning myself was not productive, so I persevered to keeping taking action in faith, no matter how small the progress.

A friend gave me this quote from an anonymous author: “God bases His love for me on Himself and not on my performance.” I do not need to perfect myself before I can begin to live my life more fully and enjoy it. I endeavored to focus on God’s character and what he says to His church as described in scripture.

During a prayer time, I felt God say to me “Don’t give up on yourself. Stand up out of that swamp of discouragement and walk into my arms. You will not see disappointment in my eyes, but the love of a father who is always eager and joyful to be with His child.”

I am still sorting and donating things and shredding paper. I live with the God blessed tension that I can entertain and exercise God’s strength and enabling power, but I do not control it. He gifts it to me as needed. And I know I can trust my Heavenly Father. I can handle the tension of being imperfect and incomplete because I am whole when God visits me with His enabling power and His perfect timing.

2 Cor. 12:10 NKJV
“Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

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About the Author

Sara has attended CitySalt Church since 2004, the year it was founded. She studied Journalism, wrote for her college newspaper, and is a member of Oregon Christian Writers. Sara also enjoys singing hymns with friends: “there is a sermon in every hymn waiting to be discovered and enjoyed.”

Tension | Walk the Line

The concept of tension is one of those things we know we must live with, but we don’t usually like it. Why? It’s uncomfortable. Why do we have to live with it? Because this is an imperfect world, filled with imperfect people.

Think for a moment of all the ways we feel or encounter tension in our lives, or even in just one day. We come into conflict with people whose behaviors or beliefs are different than ours. We have conflicting ideologies even within ourselves, which could be political, theological, or any other value or belief system.

I walk in this tension all the time, being conservative on some issues and liberal on others. Being a Christian around non-Christian friends and family. Having a different definition or demonstration of patriotism to my nationality than some of my coworkers do.

Then there’s the moral conflict within all of us. We struggle with the desire to do what is right, while also wanting to do what is wrong or not good for us or others. Like the apostle Paul says, “I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” (Romans 7:15, NLT).

And of course, one of the most difficult paradoxes in Christianity to live out: “Be in the world and not of it.” This last one is actually not direct scripture, but is rooted in some verses like John 15:19, John 17:14-19, 1 John 2:15, Romans 12:2, and others. For some interesting articles on this subject, check out https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/lets-revise-the-popular-phrase-in-but-not-of and http://coldcasechristianity.com/2017/christian-worldview-what-does-it-mean-to-be-in-the-world-but-not-of-the-world/.

Living as citizens of Heaven while in this beautiful mess of a world that God loves and has us in right now is hard. We know that He doesn’t love the hurtful things that people do and experience. But we also know that He loves all the people in it passionately, as well as all the beautiful things He’s made in His great creativity. So how do we live in this tension?

We live in tension by walking with God. We can’t do it in our own power. Ask any counselor or trauma therapist, or person who has lived in a war zone. It’s exhausting and potentially harmful to live in a constant state of tension. But He offers us all that we need in order to do just that. He shares our burdens and gives us rest in Him. He gives us wisdom, endurance, and peace.

And best of all: He gives us His love.
Love to fill our own needs and desires.
Love to share with others.
Love to forgive ourselves and others when we mess up or have conflict.

We won’t all agree this side of Heaven. We will feel out of place in this world that wants things other than God’s will. But someday, those who love Him will feel right at home, in the country of our true citizenship, worshipping Him together forever. Completely at peace with ourselves and each other and the world we’ll be living in. Amen! (And just in case you don’t know, this expression literally means “So be it!”)

And in the meantime, we can remember that even though tension is hard, it is a good thing. It keeps us alert and focused on Jesus.

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About the Author

Jessie is an educator, currently in the role of academic advisor at a charter school after teaching there and overseas. She is also a novice writer, with several books in various stages and a (long-neglected) blog about the journeys of women. She is very excited to join the CitySalt blog team. She has been blessed by a few communities of Christian writers that have encouraged her dream. She lives with her trusty sidekick cat, Arwen in the foothills of South Eugene, where she can go hiking within minutes of the sun coming out from behind the clouds.

Tension | The Miraculous Catch and the Tension of “Already, But Not Yet”

Please note that this post is longer than average, but most certainly worth the read. It’s recommended that you carve out a quiet time and space to thoughtfully read over these words while remaining sensitive to what the Spirit says.

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There are some passages in the Bible that, I have to admit, I just wish weren’t there. They make me uncomfortable, don’t fit with my understanding of God, or are really hard to explain to people who aren’t Christian. These passages are like the weird uncle we love but secretly hope he doesn’t show up to our high school graduation.

For me, the story of the miraculous catch is, for me, one of those passages.

At first glance, we have a story where the disciples go out and can’t catch any fish at all. Jesus appears, their nets become suddenly overflowing with fish, and then Jesus cooks some of those dead fish as a meal for his friends. The simple truth is: I have wrestled for a long time with the reality that Jesus very likely ate animals and, as appears in this case, also participated in their deaths.

A little background might be good. As a vegan Christian, I spent ten or so years feeling like I was a pretty big freak. At church, I was the only vegan. In the animal protection world, I was one of only a tiny handful of Christians that I knew at the time. I felt constantly on guard, defending one or the other, before I heard God say so clearly: “I made you this way for a reason. Go to seminary.”

God saw me, God knew me, and God spoke to the deepest longings of my heart.

What I learned in seminary was that God created an interconnected, flourishing world; that humans are made in the image of this creative, life-generating God. In the beginning, we’re told, God made everything and it was beautiful and no one killed or ate each other. Humans, a part of this creation community, were charged to care for the earth and help it to flourish.

We messed a lot of things up through sin, but Jesus the Son of God came to us, took on flesh. The Creator of the universe walked among us as a fully divine, fully human being and brought us glimpses of the Kingdom of God right here on earth. So now we live in the tension of what we call “already-but-not-yet” time. In living, Jesus showed us how to live and in dying and rising, Jesus showed us how to live in hope.

That hope is represented in part by the “peaceable kingdom,” words we read even as early as the prophets: “The wolf shall live with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the kid, the calf and the lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them.” The Peaceable Kingdom

The Bible shows us a harmonious ideal and the promise of a reconciled future, but more often than not, harmonious and reconciled seem pretty far off.

In other words, I bring a bit of baggage to this passage. But we all, do, right? No one brings a blank slate to their reading of the scripture. And despite my discomfort, I’m drawn to this passage again and again, so let me take a deep breath, release my initial defensive posture, and try to hear what God is saying.

It helps me to read the passage a few times, slowly. To imagine myself in the scene. And to read and hear what others have to say about the passage.

First: a little about the book of John. Of the four gospels (books of the New Testament that specifically recount Jesus’s birth, life, and death), John was written last, late in the first century. John’s like the clean-up batter of the disciples here. He’s seen what others have written and he’s filling in a few blanks.

One of the things we might notice is that our story looks a lot like one in Luke, when Jesus first calls Simon, James, and John. There are some parallels in the two stories: the men have been working all night and haven’t caught anything, but they do what Jesus suggests, they are beset with an abundance. In the Luke account, this miracle leads Simon, James, and John to leave everything and follow Jesus.

Perhaps John is telling his reader something about what it looks like to follow Jesus for the long haul, how Jesus makes himself known to us when we don’t have the benefit of seeing him in flesh and blood, day after day after day.

This story strikes me as encouragement for an early church wrestling with what it means to be disciples of a teacher they’ve never seen, with whom there was no memory of intimate meals, firsthand encounters, miraculous and exciting events. This passage is about following Jesus on a weekday, in the middle of winter, when your boss is breathing down your neck or your spouse is disappointing you or your kids can’t remember that we don’t leave the house without shoes and you can’t recall the last time you felt anything like a summer camp high.

Three other themes jump out at me in this post-resurrection fishing scene:

First, Jesus makes himself known while we’re engaging the world together.

Compared to another post-resurrection appearance, when Jesus showed himself to just two people on the road to Emmaus, this group is pretty big, with Simon Peter, Thomas, Nathanael, James, John, and two no-namers. There’s an air of “we need to stick together” in the first few verses. In the previous chapter, John writes about Jesus appearing to a group of disciples, but only Thomas the doubter is named. Here’s Thomas again. He believes enough to still want to band with these folks.

And I love the way the dialogue reads: “I’m going fishing.” “We will go with you.” I don’t quite know what to make of that. Maybe they’re bored, and this is the best idea they’ve heard that day. I imagine that the incredible feeling of walking and talking with Jesus, followed by the horrifying trial and crucifixion, followed by the dramatic resurrection would make everyday life seem pretty tame. But I think it’s more likely that these seven disciples feel a little uncertain about what they should do now. It probably just feels better to be with people who understand you.

So, they stick together and they go about their business. Literally, their business. They’re working together on a common task, towards a common goal, for a common good.

Second, Jesus makes himself known when we’re vulnerable.

By the dominant perspective of the day, these men had left their lives to follow a homeless radical who was publicly executed. This likely did not strike their communities as being very wise. Now they’ve been working all night and they have nothing to show for it. I cannot imagine how exhausting it would be to be on a fishing boat all night, hungry, dealing with hour after hour after hour of disappointment. This isn’t just physical exhaustion, it’s spiritual and mental fatigue, as well. Simon Peter is naked, which is about as clear a metaphor as you can ask for.

But to this weary crew of failures, Jesus appears.

Third, Jesus makes himself known to us through his partnership and his provision.

In this passage, Jesus calls his disciples “children,” a term of intimacy and deep affection. Jesus, the Creator, isn’t standing apart from the world. He is here. Jesus knows where the fish are and provides instruction, the disciples respond and do the work, then they all enjoy the fruits of their co-labor together.

The disciples’ attitudes are important in this story. Even when they’re exhausted, they hold a posture of humility and responsiveness. They actually obey Jesus before they recognize him as Jesus! At first, Jesus is just a dude standing on the shore, hollering instructions. If someone tries to holler at me while I’m tired and hungry, I’m likely to get a bit defensive. But these disciples did what the man on the shore told them to. Humility and a posture of partnership are a second nature to them because they are Jesus-followers. Jesus freely and eagerly partners with us in the restorative work of the Kingdom, but it is up to us to respond to that invitation.

Of course, Jesus will also make himself known to full-of-themselves loners who are impatient and a little selfish [raises hand]. But I’m guessing that partnership, patience, persistence, and a posture of humility help make the tasks we undertake together during this “already but not yet” time a little easier.

In both the Lucan account and this one, the disciples recognize Jesus only after he’d provided them with something, and not just a little of something, but an abundance. An abundance of provision is usually seen as a blessing, so I feel self-conscious reading about this miracle and wishing it was different. I think to myself, “Did Jesus really have to aid in the death of 153 fish?” Couldn’t Jesus have caused an higher-than-usual yield of figs? Or a particularly abundant olive harvest? Done that whole multiplying loaves thing again?

So, a fourth point: it is entirely possible for a vegan Christian to love and learn from this story.

When I read this story that includes its account of 153 fish losing their lives, I am reading it through my experience and lens. Even though the modern fishing industry looks nothing like Zebedee and Sons Fishing, Inc., I can’t help but think about the fact that today’s commercial fishing and industrial fish farms are environmental disasters. I read this story knowing that there are approximately six billion fish killed for food every year in the U.S. alone, every one of whom can suffer pain, none of whom are protected by a single animal welfare law, and for whom death will be slow and painful. And I bring to the text a knowledge that there is a modern day slave trade alive and thriving in some international fishing industries.

Instead of focusing on the fishing, though, instead of getting hung up on my own biases and mess and missing what God is saying to me through the passage, I’ve tried to take a step back, to quiet my own noise and just listen.

One of the main emphases of John’s Gospel is on Jesus’ divinity. He’s writing to a church that isn’t quite sure how this “fully God, fully human” idea works, and so we have that unique and beautiful opening of the Gospel that reads, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God…”

Being vulnerable, partnering with others in community, engaging the world even when it’s impossibly hard...why and how we continue to do these things is part of the beautiful mystery of faith.

This mysterious faith roots us in and through each other and to God. We know that it’s not following this or any set of rules that will help us grow and thrive. It’s in the mystery that we’re able to go “further up and further in.” Following Jesus’ mystery, letting ourselves tumble head-over-heels into that abyss, can be downright scary. Fully God and fully human? Raised from the dead? The Trinity? A random woman in Oregon or a poor fisherman in Palestine being intimately connected with the sustainer of the universe?

The mystery of Jesus is what inspires us to imagine a better way forward. The mystery of Jesus helps us navigate these strange modern waters that look a lot different than the Sea of Tiberius. The mystery of Jesus is the Kingdom of God that’s here, but not fully realized. The mystery of Jesus is God engaged in a long process of reconciling a whole groaning creation back to its Creator, while the world keeps turning and people keep living and dying and moving with and against that reconciling work.

Instead of erasing this passage from the Bible, I want to frame it and give it to every animal advocate I know who has struggled to remain part of a church. It’s so hard, so many people don’t “get” us. It’s so tempting to leave, to disengage from this tradition and communities who have failed again and again to see us and love us well.

But the miraculous catch is not just a story about catching or eating fish. This is a story of the mystery of a God whose love catalyzed the creation of the whole world, the wonderful mystery of that same God taking on human flesh and living a human life full of its human mess, the mystery of that Jesus dying and then rising again, and that utterly divine person of Christ seeing every one of us, knowing the desires of our heart, standing in front of us, and calling to us.

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About the Author

Sarah is the author of Vegangelical: How Caring for Animals Can Shape Your Faith (Zondervan, 2016) and Animals Are Not Ours (No, Really, They’re Not): An Evangelical Animal Liberation Theology (Cascade Books, 2016). She spends her days working for CreatureKind, helping Christians put their faith into action. She lives in Eugene with her husband, son, and animal companions and enjoys action movies, black coffee, the daily crossword, and dreaming of her next international journey. This blog is adapted from a sermon and reprinted with permission.

Forgiveness | The Lord is Our Redemption

The Lord is our redemption; He teaches us to forgive; He is our source

18Who is a God like you, who removes guilt

and pardons sin for the remnant of his inheritance;

Who does not persist in anger forever,

but instead delights in mercy,

19And will again have compassion on us,

treading underfoot our iniquities?

You will cast into the depths of the sea all our sins;

20You will show faithfulness to Jacob,

and loyalty to Abraham,

As you have sworn to our ancestors

from days of old.

Micah 7:18-20

I believe we are tasked to spend our days in this journey, that is life on Earth, aiming to be a vehicle of light in this world.

Resentment, justice, fairness – these are not meant to lead us astray from this goal, nor to out rank the task of spreading light.

It’s true that justice and fairness (as well as humility) are important when tasked with positions of leadership or maneuvering a difficult situation. Yet when struggling through a time when someone has hurt you, taking an emotional stance in the name of justice and fairness only brings more trouble to us and those around us. It can lead to sadness, then to anger and resentment. May we instead, move closer to the Lord and “delight in mercy.”

The more I ponder these deep and powerful emotions and choices, the more I believe that fairness and justice have no place in the process of healing through forgiveness.

We are tasked to be vehicles of light in this world.

In seasons of heartache and struggle, expecting those that hurt us to owe us anything seems to foster deeper resentment. We cannot control their choices, no one really owes us anything emotionally. God is our source of fulfillment and healing.

Maybe all anyone owes at all is a personal goal to be their own vehicle of light. And maybe it doesn’t really have anything to do with me or you. Their choices are between them and God. Your healing is between you and God.

We are tasked to be vehicles of light in this world.

Maybe all anyone owes you, is to do their best to forgive, regardless of and irrelevant to those that did the hurting.

Or maybe they just do not owe you anything.

God is our source of fulfillment and healing.

I have been hurt and I have hurt others. I have found in my own experience, healing is not tied to our ability to talk things out or come to a place of understanding. Our separate journeys of forgiveness and redemption lead us forward on our paths with the Lord.

God is our source of fulfillment and healing. Through Him we can forgive others and ourselves, through Him we can find redemption. We are tasked to spend our days in this journey that is life on Earth, aiming to be a vehicle of light in this world.

Two people, each turning to God for forgiveness and redemption, will find their way back to one another, should their paths be meant to intertwine. Either way, let us follow the Lord, “Who does not persist in anger forever, but instead delights in mercy”.

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About the Author

Leona is a wife, mother and traveler who is intrigued by how different people live. Her latest project is exploring ways that different walks of life can simplify, in order to live a fulfilling journey.

Forgiveness | Generosity Unleashed!

Make your way downtown to NE Court Street in the heart of Salem and you will find the most delightful bread shop on the planet. Yes, the bread is good -- In fact very good. Some would boast it to be the “best bread in the world.” But the thing that sets this shop apart from the rest is their contagious generosity. Whether you are a paying customer or not, their generous spirit is as palatable as the fresh slice of whole wheat bread you’ll find yourself eating when you walk through their doors. Spend a lunch hour watching this establishment serve people and you will find a cheerful, sincere and delightful worker who denies nobody and asks everybody, “Would you like a piece of bread?”

As Christ-followers, we are expected to be generous. Because of God’s move to forgive our waywardness by way of the cross, we have the privilege of being a distribution station of His great love. In Matthew 18:23-35, Jesus illustrates the imperative of forgiveness. As we consider this story, may we be moved to freely RECEIVE God’s compassion, mercy and grace when at our worst, and generously DISTRIBUTE these same goods when we experience the worst in others.

His Bread is Life,
Pastor Dusty

Matthew 18:23-35
“Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.

“But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

“But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.

“His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

“When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

“That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

Luke 6:35-36
But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

James 2:12-13
Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

Psalm 103:8-12
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

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About the Author

Dusty serves as our lead pastor. He is a gifted leader, administrator and communicator with a passion to help others grow in their God-given potential. He joined the team as an associate pastor in 2009 and later transitioned to the role of lead pastor in January 2010. Dusty previously served as a youth pastor and director of youth camps and leadership events, for Foursquare churches in the Northwest, at Camp Crestview. He and his wife, Julie, grew up in the area and have three sons and five grandchildren.

Forgiveness | Learning Boundaries Within Forgiveness

I had several close childhood friendships that began in first grade and lasted into my college years. Every long friendship has its ups and downs, but one of these was particularly challenging. Our first grade teacher often confused “Anna” and I because we looked similar with our long dark hair and olive skin. We had a lot of fun, going to Brownies meetings, celebrating birthdays, getting muddy during soccer games, and having New Year’s Eve sleepovers where we stayed up late playing Mario on the Nintendo.

But this friend had a cruel streak. During one of my sleepovers at her house, she wiped her spit all over a toy I was just about to play with. In middle school she stopped talking to me for more than a year because one day I chose to have lunch with another friend. In high school, she put gum in her toddler sister’s hair and lied to her mom about it when she tried to explain what had happened.

Anna became the high school friend who would tell me mean things other people said about me, who would never bring me along to a party, but would tag along with my group of friends if she didn’t have anyone else to hang out with. I stayed her friend despite her meanness, and perhaps in part because of it. I knew she did not have many close friends; no one wanted to be treated so poorly. As a new Christian, I felt it was my duty to forgive and forgive again in order to show God’s love. I was a Christian doormat in my effort to be a life witness to that friend.

Still, I knew Anna was not a person I could trust. I was willing to practice kindness towards her and spend time with her, but over the years I put up more and more internal walls between myself and her. She stayed in touch with me through college, but when it came time to plan my wedding I didn’t include her in the wedding party. I know this hurt her feelings, although she wouldn’t let me see that.

That decision showed the limitations of my forgiveness. I could forgive, and I could be kind, and I could spend time with her if she needed. But as a repeated witness and victim of her mean streak, our friendship could not be restored to what it would have been had my trust not been broken time and again.

She ended up not coming to my wedding, and not returning my phone calls afterward. That was the end of our fifteen year friendship. I’ve wondered at times if I made the right choice not to have her in the wedding party. Would there have been any harm in including another person? Or does her decision not to come to my wedding or talk to me afterward prove that I made the right decision?

Maybe the wrong choice was actually in allowing the friendship to continue as long as it did without standing up for myself.

In the book of Romans, Paul writes, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Carefully consider what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone” Romans 12: 17-18.

Yet, there is a difference between living at peace with everyone and allowing people to treat you cruelly and take advantage of your kindness. A friendship is something that should be mutually enjoyed and beneficial to both parties. My friendship with Anna had morphed into something that was not actually a friendship; it was more akin to me subversively attempting to mentor her or be her free therapist.

This was not fair to me, but it was also not fair to her. By allowing our friendship to continue for so many years without confronting her negative behavior, I was being an enabler. For my part, our friendship was serving the purpose of making me feel like a Super Nice Person and a Good Christian.

After all was said and done, was it worth the many years I attempted to be a life witness to Anna, the times I brought her to church, the times she treated me as the ugly and forgotten Cinderella

The last time I’d seen her was a month or so before my wedding. She was visiting me at my parents’ house in Eugene. Anna said she wished she went to church because there were so many beautiful churches in downtown Portland near her apartment. That year she had gotten a cross tattoo on her ankle. We talked about my wedding plans, her job at Stumptown, about my upcoming college graduation. She said she wanted to start reading the Bible and asked if I had an extra one she could keep. I looked around and found an old one I was no longer using, with a hardback lilac cover that featured butterflies. She gave me a hug and was on her way.

Years later I bumped into her at the grocery store, when my eldest child was still tiny. I hugged her and introduced her to my toddler, then chatted briefly before taking off. She seemed bewildered — by what exactly?

My friendliness? My motherhood? My glossing over of the past?

Yes, it was all of that. All of that, and so much more.

Forgiveness and relationships go hand in hand, and both are often more complicated than expected. No friendship can be sustained in the long run unless both friends are willing to forgive each other their mistakes. And yet sometimes we are not forgiving in order to restore the friendship — sometimes the friendship unfortunately cannot be restored. In these cases, we forgive in order to bring healing to ourselves.

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About the Author

Ursula and her husband Spencer have two young children, and their family enjoys playing hide-and-seek and dancing in the living room. She works as a communications and events coordinator with the University of Oregon. Ursula has also just become CitySalt’s new Children’s Ministry Director. Congratulations, Ursula! 

You can read more from Ursula at motherbearblog.com.