Forgiveness | Learning Boundaries Within Forgiveness

I had several close childhood friendships that began in first grade and lasted into my college years. Every long friendship has its ups and downs, but one of these was particularly challenging. Our first grade teacher often confused “Anna” and I because we looked similar with our long dark hair and olive skin. We had a lot of fun, going to Brownies meetings, celebrating birthdays, getting muddy during soccer games, and having New Year’s Eve sleepovers where we stayed up late playing Mario on the Nintendo.

But this friend had a cruel streak. During one of my sleepovers at her house, she wiped her spit all over a toy I was just about to play with. In middle school she stopped talking to me for more than a year because one day I chose to have lunch with another friend. In high school, she put gum in her toddler sister’s hair and lied to her mom about it when she tried to explain what had happened.

Anna became the high school friend who would tell me mean things other people said about me, who would never bring me along to a party, but would tag along with my group of friends if she didn’t have anyone else to hang out with. I stayed her friend despite her meanness, and perhaps in part because of it. I knew she did not have many close friends; no one wanted to be treated so poorly. As a new Christian, I felt it was my duty to forgive and forgive again in order to show God’s love. I was a Christian doormat in my effort to be a life witness to that friend.

Still, I knew Anna was not a person I could trust. I was willing to practice kindness towards her and spend time with her, but over the years I put up more and more internal walls between myself and her. She stayed in touch with me through college, but when it came time to plan my wedding I didn’t include her in the wedding party. I know this hurt her feelings, although she wouldn’t let me see that.

That decision showed the limitations of my forgiveness. I could forgive, and I could be kind, and I could spend time with her if she needed. But as a repeated witness and victim of her mean streak, our friendship could not be restored to what it would have been had my trust not been broken time and again.

She ended up not coming to my wedding, and not returning my phone calls afterward. That was the end of our fifteen year friendship. I’ve wondered at times if I made the right choice not to have her in the wedding party. Would there have been any harm in including another person? Or does her decision not to come to my wedding or talk to me afterward prove that I made the right decision?

Maybe the wrong choice was actually in allowing the friendship to continue as long as it did without standing up for myself.

In the book of Romans, Paul writes, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Carefully consider what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone” Romans 12: 17-18.

Yet, there is a difference between living at peace with everyone and allowing people to treat you cruelly and take advantage of your kindness. A friendship is something that should be mutually enjoyed and beneficial to both parties. My friendship with Anna had morphed into something that was not actually a friendship; it was more akin to me subversively attempting to mentor her or be her free therapist.

This was not fair to me, but it was also not fair to her. By allowing our friendship to continue for so many years without confronting her negative behavior, I was being an enabler. For my part, our friendship was serving the purpose of making me feel like a Super Nice Person and a Good Christian.

After all was said and done, was it worth the many years I attempted to be a life witness to Anna, the times I brought her to church, the times she treated me as the ugly and forgotten Cinderella

The last time I’d seen her was a month or so before my wedding. She was visiting me at my parents’ house in Eugene. Anna said she wished she went to church because there were so many beautiful churches in downtown Portland near her apartment. That year she had gotten a cross tattoo on her ankle. We talked about my wedding plans, her job at Stumptown, about my upcoming college graduation. She said she wanted to start reading the Bible and asked if I had an extra one she could keep. I looked around and found an old one I was no longer using, with a hardback lilac cover that featured butterflies. She gave me a hug and was on her way.

Years later I bumped into her at the grocery store, when my eldest child was still tiny. I hugged her and introduced her to my toddler, then chatted briefly before taking off. She seemed bewildered — by what exactly?

My friendliness? My motherhood? My glossing over of the past?

Yes, it was all of that. All of that, and so much more.

Forgiveness and relationships go hand in hand, and both are often more complicated than expected. No friendship can be sustained in the long run unless both friends are willing to forgive each other their mistakes. And yet sometimes we are not forgiving in order to restore the friendship — sometimes the friendship unfortunately cannot be restored. In these cases, we forgive in order to bring healing to ourselves.

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About the Author

Ursula and her husband Spencer have two young children, and their family enjoys playing hide-and-seek and dancing in the living room. She works as a communications and events coordinator with the University of Oregon. Ursula has also just become CitySalt’s new Children’s Ministry Director. Congratulations, Ursula! 

You can read more from Ursula at motherbearblog.com.

Community Prayer Guide | September 2018

Each month we receive an updated Community Prayer Guide from One Hope ministry network that helps the church draw near to God and pray for various areas of our city life together. We invite you to take time to join hundreds of people who are praying each month for 10 strategic areas that shape our community's culture.

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One Church - One Day Community Prayer |  September 2018

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Church
Pray for every local church/ministry to have the Lord’s leading, wisdom & blessing this Fall.
Pray for church/ministry leadership teams:  strong & loving relationships, unity of purpose and clear vision.
Pray for God’s love to be “lived out” in our work life, school life and interactions with our neighbors.
Pray for all who responded to the Gospel through local outreaches, summer camps and ministries to be connected in local church families and discipled.

Education
Pray for teachers to have wisdom to establish routines and develop good student relationships.
Pray for students to experience joy and peace as the school year begins.
Pray for transitioning leadership positions: a new Springfield Superintendent & other leadership positions: For God to lead the hiring processes and appoint the right person to each position.
For God to raise up people who will help reform education practices.
Pray for district staffing and scheduling for the 2018-2019 school year: Wisdom and decisions that lead to a blessed and peaceful school year.

Government
Pray for the Lord’s shalom in our community narrative and public discourse.
Pray for God’s wisdom, love and direction to be upon all of our government leaders and their families.
Pray for peaceful, respectful and fearless conversations & decisions about caring for homeless youth.
Pray for city governments’ “housing” plans, policies & efforts to be fruitful in providing more housing.
Pray for the November voting season: For the Lord’s hand to guide the process and selection of winning-ballot measures and candidates.

Business
Pray for positive, encouraging & supportive relationships among our business, government & faith sectors.
Pray for CEOs & business leaders to have wisdom, supportive friendships, humility and the Lord’s guidance.
Pray for veterans in the workforce to be supported, healed and walked into wholeness.
Pray for God to guide and bless the development of the Eugene Riverfront.
Pray for a wise, positive and godly perspective on creating wealth: For local wealth to express Jesus’ love and be utilized for the greatest good.

Family
Pray for struggling families to have barriers removed and have access to affordable homes.
Pray for God to heal relationships in local families, and for entire families to turn and follow the Lord.
Pray for God to increase the number of foster parents and “Safe Families” to care for vulnerable kids.
Pray for God to strengthen and empower marriages in our community: to love and care for each other, to be healthy models of love for children, and to add to the strength and security of our community.

Arts
Pray for God’s blessing and direction to be upon all NCU artists, musicians and choirs.
Pray for the Pacific Rim Art Guild & other visual artists to have inspiration to create God-honoring work.
Pray for the Lord’s hand to guide the professors/instructors of the visual arts & music departments at the UO.
Pray for local Christian dance companies: finances, creativity and God-given opportunities for outreach.

Health Care
Pray for health care providers to grow in compassion and love for the distressed and downcast.
Pray for Christ-following providers to see their occupation as an opportunity to be an ambassador for Christ.
Pray for God to bring hope, healing and rescue to those struggling with suicidal thoughts.  Pray for health care workers, teachers, parents and friends to be empowered to bring hope, healing and rescue.
Pray for health care providers not to be content with temporal, physical healing alone. Pray that their desire for spiritual healing & eternal life grows.

Police and Fire Departments 
Pray for the wisdom, peace and safety of those serving in our police and fire departments.
Pray for God’s blessing and protection to be on the “Safely to School” program that First Responders provide.
Pray for new quality and “charactered” recruits to be hired in all agencies in every local community.
Pray for the wellbeing and emotional health of first responders, their spouses and children.

Media
Pray for local media to promote and equip community members to listen and understand one another better.
Pray for local TV, Radio and Print Media employees to be guided by God’s hand.
Pray for truthful, fair and accurate reporting in all areas of local media.
Pray for the Lord’s favor and truth to be on all media reporting of Jesus-centered events.

Sports
Pray for safety, protection and peace over every public sporting event.
Pray for the Lord’s blessing to be on Pop Warner programs, athletes, coaches and referees.
Pray for the Lord to draw Christ-following athletes and coaches to the UO, and for godly mentors for them.
Pray for the 2021 World Track & Field Championships in Lane County: God’s hand on all international committee agreements, preparations, and new local development for a fruitful and safe event.

Find answers to prayer on our website: onehopenetwork.org/testimonies.

Forgiveness | The Freedom of Forgiveness

One thing I have learned in my sixty plus orbits around the sun is that people are going to behave poorly. The reasons are often complex and far reaching but the bottom line is that every one of us gets hurt on some level by the selfishness, insensitivity and/or cluelessness of others. Not only do we get hurt… but most of us dish out our share of hurtful behavior. I suppose it is part of being human.

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying that

“the difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits.”

To be human is to be flawed… to do dumb things… to be selfish… to be a sinner. That is why forgiveness is so important. Forgiveness is the antidote for the hatred, resentment and angst caused by hurtful behavior. The more destructive the behavior, the greater the need to forgive and I know that often it is very difficult to really forgive and let go of the anger. When I feel resentment or anger toward some person or some situation, that negative emotion occupies my mind and robs me of the ability to think rationally. It really is a kind of a bondage in my mind and the crazy thing is that this person that I am upset with most likely has no idea that I am angry. Forgiveness sets us free from this bondage.

I recently had a neighbor that was a challenge to live near. This neighbor would do things to intentionally antagonize; like pointing speakers toward my house and blasting music all day or power washing twenty pounds of dirt onto and in front of my property.  Sometimes it worked. I got angry and raised my voice more than once at his behavior and the words that came out of my mouth were mocking and spiteful. I am not proud of that angry response. At first my prayers about these incidents were generally directed toward changing (or disappearing) this person but then I realized that my unforgiveness was the real issue. Resentment for my neighbor robbed me of the ability to have compassion and there can be no compassion without humility. First I had to humble myself and instead of ignoring or mocking my neighbor, I had to ask him to forgive me. Curiously, my neighbor did not quite know how to respond to this except to fire back another profane volley of hostility but my heart was softened and I realized that this man had likely experienced suffering in his life that I would never understand. I found, with my neighbor, that forgiveness is (unfortunately) not a one-time event. I had to forgive my neighbor almost every day when I noticed those resentful feelings start to creep in.

Martin Luther King, Jr. once said that

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”

This neighbor never really softened toward me and is probably still walking around with a measure of resentment in his heart but I am only bothered by this because I know this person is limited and diminished by his unforgiveness.  I am grateful that following Jesus’ example of forgiveness has allowed me to break free from this bondage. While it is important to forgive each other it is equally important to forgive ourselves. The life of Jesus represents that forgiveness each and every day. Forgiveness for ourselves and each other is a freedom we were designed to experience.

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About the Author

Joseph was born in Pendleton, Oregon. He attended the University of Oregon from which he graduated in 1979. He then served as a medic in the US Air Force.

Joseph has been married “to the same woman for 38 years” and they have four awesome children. He has enjoyed careers in forestry, education and software. Currently Joseph is retired, substitute teaching when possible and enjoying traveling with his wife.

Forgiveness | Spoken Word

Please take a moment to enter into this story of forgiveness and consider how Jesus is moving in your life to bring healing into your space of hurt.

Forgiveness | The Miracle of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is probably one of the most difficult yet important themes in our lives and world. We all know that we need it and need to offer it, but it is so hard to actually give it.

Many of us have heard that forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning what someone did to us, saying “That’s okay,” when it really wasn’t. We’ve heard sermons or other messages explaining that forgiveness is the act of letting go of the “right” or need to keep punishing the offender in our hearts. (Justice is a separate issue that I won’t be addressing here; I’ll be focusing on the relationships or heart matters.) We know that if we don’t offer it, we’ll be eaten up with bitterness on the inside. Even Don Henley acknowledges this in his ‘80s pop song “The Heart of the Matter”:

If you keep carrying that anger, it’ll eat you up inside, baby…
I’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness, forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me

But is this all there is to it? Just a simple letting go, and suddenly our hearts are healed? Is it only for our own sake? I think there’s more to it than this.

First of all, it is not so simple. Sometimes it is: a misunderstanding gets explained, an apology soothes the hurt feelings, and reconciliation is swift and sweet. But other times, a wound runs too deep to be able to forgive quickly. It takes time and wise counsel, even professional counseling or therapy. And for many of us, these take more than we have in us to forgive at all.

This is when we cross into the realm of miracles. Yes, I believe in them. And I believe the greatest miracles of all are the ones where God’s power heals the hurt in us so we can forgive, and that power then touches the person who has been forgiven, and His glory is known. These are the stories that change the world.

A person very close to me challenged me last year to show proof of a couple things. One was miracles themselves. He wanted video proof. And the other was proof that love is more than just a chemical reaction to people. He informed me of Oxytocin, a chemical in our brain that causes us to feel feelings of love toward people.

I reflected on miracles and researched Oxytocin. As far as I can tell, it only accounts for love toward people that we want to love, like family, friends, and people we are romantically attached to. It doesn’t account for love toward strangers, like Mother Teresa helping lepers in India. Of course, that can be explained scientifically by the positive feelings we get from helping others.

But love for our enemies? I found no scientific explanation that can account for that. As far as I can tell, only God’s powerful love in us can cause us to pray for, forgive, and show love to our enemies. Corrie ten Boom writes in multiple books of hers how men who had been cruel guards to her in the Nazi concentration camps later went to hear her speak. They begged her for forgiveness. She momentarily had to fight her human nature of anger, and then God’s grace always won out, and she freely forgave them, causing them to weep. I’m sure that their lives, and anyone who witnessed this, were changed forever.

I know of a personal example of this, of a man in a country that is not open to the Good News seeing two Christian men reconcile with forgiveness after a deep wound between them. To protect him, I can’t say more specifically in this public post, but his life was changed dramatically after he saw this.

But I will offer the video below instead. This is the greatest (believable!) video evidence I can find of the power of God causing a miracle. I know it is a miracle because I don’t know a single person who has it in themselves to forgive this.

Now it is up to us. Who do you still need to forgive? It may be a long process, and you are only able to get a little closer to full forgiveness. Me, I’m still working on one. I keep thinking I’ve forgiven this person over the years, but it caused lasting damage, and he is a person that is not healthy for me to get in contact with to talk and get closure. So I’ll keep chipping away at it. Praying for healing, for wisdom, and for the power to forgive completely. Because I can’t do it on my own. And maybe, in time, it will be right for me to talk to this person and offer the healing that forgiveness does.

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About the Author

Jessie is an educator, currently in the role of academic advisor at a charter school after teaching there and overseas. She is also a novice writer, with several books in various stages and a (long-neglected) blog about the journeys of women. She is very excited to join the CitySalt blog team. She has been blessed by a few communities of Christian writers that have encouraged her dream. She lives with her trusty sidekick cat, Arwen in the foothills of South Eugene, where she can go hiking within minutes of the sun coming out from behind the clouds.

Forgiveness | You Do Not Have to Be Good

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
~Mary Oliver, Wild Geese

I think this poem by Mary Oliver says a lot about forgiveness.

“You do not have to be good.”

How many hours have I wasted in existential agony, beating myself up because I’ve failed to meet a bar set too high, sometimes by my own hand? I can ask for forgiveness from God, and I can extend forgiveness to others, but can I accept forgiveness? And isn’t that a kind of sin itself, wallowing in my inadequacies, failures, shortcomings? “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:14

“Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.”

Hoarding our shames to ourselves allows them to grow. Can we take a courageous breath and share our shortcomings with another? And isn’t that a kind of grace, to give someone else the gift of our weakness, so that they can trust us enough to give us theirs? “Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

“... announcing your place in the family of things”

We are made in the image of God, called to community with the whole of creation, called to community with our neighbors, called to community with our family, called to community with our Creator. “If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast.” Psalm 139:9-10

Instead of falling into the same old cycles of regret, despair, and self-flagellation, let me breathe these truths:

I am a child of God. A creature of the Creator, known and cherished.
Forgiven of my debts.
Rescued from the power of darkness.
Reconciled through Jesus.
More than my worst mistake.
Beloved.
Amen.

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About the Author

Sarah is the author of Vegangelical: How Caring for Animals Can Shape Your Faith (Zondervan, 2016) and Animals Are Not Ours (No, Really, They’re Not): An Evangelical Animal Liberation Theology (Cascade Books, 2016). She spends her days working for Evangelicals for Social Action and CreatureKind, helping Christians put their faith into action. She lives in Eugene with her husband, son, and animal companions and enjoys action movies, black coffee, the daily crossword, and dreaming of her next international journey.

Community Prayer Guide | August 2018

Each month we receive an updated Community Prayer Guide from One Hope ministry network that helps the church draw near to God and pray for various areas of our city life together. We invite you to take time to join hundreds of people who are praying each month for 10 strategic areas that shape our community's culture.

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One Church - One Day Community Prayer                               August 2018

“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread
and to prayer. . . And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”
Acts 2:42, 46b

Church
Pray for all who responded to the Gospel through local outreaches & CityFest to be connected in local church families and discipled.
Pray for the Holy Spirit to increase the power of God’s demonstrated-love in every church/ministry.
Pray for Project Hope: strong relationships with schools, for joy, love and the witness of Jesus.
Pray for pastors and leaders:  strong marriages, personal refreshing and good health.

Education
Pray for students who are behind in school to have access to summer programs and make great gains.
Pray for Project Hope to be a community-building event, where school families connect with each other and local church communities.
Pray for transitioning leadership positions: a new Springfield Superintendent & principal positions:
For God to lead the hiring processes and appoint the right person to each position.
For God to raise up people who will help reform education practices.
Pray for district staffing and scheduling for the 2018-2019 school year: wisdom and decisions that lead to a blessed and peaceful school year.

Government
Pray for God’s wisdom, love and direction to be upon all of our government leaders and their families.
Pray for peaceful, respectful and fearless conversations & decisions about caring for homeless youth.
Pray for city governments’ “housing” plans, policies & efforts to be fruitful in providing more housing.
Pray for the November voting season: For the Lord’s hand to guide the process and selection of winning-ballot measures and candidates.
Pray for the Lord’s shalom in our community narrative and public discourse.

Business
Pray for positive, encouraging & supportive relationships among our business, government & faith sectors.
Pray for CEOs & business leaders to have wisdom, supportive friendships, humility and the Lord’s guidance.
Pray for veterans in the workforce to be supported, healed and walked into wholeness.
Pray for a wise, positive and godly perspective on creating wealth: For local wealth to express Jesus’ love and be utilized for the greatest good.
Pray for God to bless and guide the development of the Eugene Riverfront.

Family
Pray for struggling families to have barriers removed and have access to affordable homes.
Pray for God to heal relationships in local families, and for entire families to turn and follow the Lord.
Pray for families who struggle in the late summer: resources, activities for kids and peace.
Pray for God to increase the number of foster parents and “Safe Families” to care for vulnerable kids.
Pray for God to strengthen and empower marriages in our community: to love and care for each other, to be healthy models of love for children, and to add to the strength and security of our community.

Arts
Pray for God’s blessing and direction to be upon all NCU artists, musicians and choirs.
Pray for the Pacific Rim Art Guild & other visual artists to find inspiration to create God-honoring work.
Pray for more voice-over and commercial work for local actors, as the economy improves.
Pray for writers to find inspiration, encouragement & community at the Oregon Christian Writers’ Conference.
Pray for local Christian dance companies: finances, creativity and God-given opportunities for outreach.

Health Care
Pray for Christ-following providers to see their occupation as an opportunity to be an ambassador for Christ.
Pray for health care providers to grow in compassion and love for the distressed and downcast.
Pray for God to bring hope, healing and rescue to those struggling with suicidal thoughts.  Pray for health care workers, teachers, parents and friends to be empowered to bring hope, healing and rescue.
Pray for health care providers not to be content with temporal, physical healing alone.  Pray their desire for spiritual healing & eternal life grows.

Police and Fire Departments
Pray for the “water rescue” crews: God’s guidance, protection & ability to save lives.
Pray for God’s blessing and protection to be on the “Safely to School” program that First Responders provide.
Pray for new quality and “charactered” recruits to be hired in all agencies in every local community.
Pray for all who heard the Gospel in July to grow in Christ & have strong relationships in local churches.
Pray for the wellbeing and emotional health of first responders, their spouses and children.
Pray for the wisdom, peace and safety of those serving in our police and fire departments.

Media
Pray for local TV, Radio and Print Media employees to be guided by God’s hand.
Pray for truthful, fair and accurate reporting in all areas of local media.
Pray for the Lord’s favor and truth to be on all media reporting of Jesus-centered events.
Pray for local media to promote and equip community members to listen and understand one another better.

Sports
Pray for safety, protection and peace over every public sporting event.
Pray for the Lord’s blessing to be on KidSports programs, athletes, coaches and referees.
Pray for the Lord to draw Christ-following athletes and coaches to the UO, and for godly mentors for them.
Pray for the 2021 World Track & Field Championships in Lane County: God’s hand on all international committee agreements, preparations, and new local development for a fruitful and safe event.

Find answers to prayer on our website: onehopenetwork.org/testimonies.

Interruptible | Finding Space and Keeping Doors Open for God

I am a mom. I have three beautiful, active and awesome kids. There are 7-8 years difference between the older two and my youngest. Between all the activities and a part time job, I am often in the middle of what feels like insane multi-tasking. I admit, my 3 year old has developed a bad habit of yelling to get my attention. We are working on fixing it, but it gets tricky in moments where 3+ people are attempting a conversation with me. I know many of you can relate. Not to mention the “background” noise of life, dinner cooking or focusing on driving and remembering which activity or store or... where are we supposed to be going? Who asked me a question first?

Recently I found myself desperately craving quiet. When I was finally able to find the time, it was night. Everyone was in bed. It was later than I wanted, but I decided not to dwell on that. I kept the house dark and sat by the window, looking out at the trees or up at the stars speckled across the sky. My headache started to fade and as I opened my heart to the Lord in meditative prayer, I pondered how to let God lead me through my days. How can I assure that I'm not forcing my own path, rather than walking the path laid out for me? Allowing God to intervene in our lives can be a deep and profound experience; it can feel like a daunting, never ending task. It can also be simple. How can I bring this quiet space into my day more frequently? This is where my doors open to God’s knocking.

There is a pattern or a web that links each small choice and behavior, bringing us either closer to God or farther away. Reminding myself that closer to God may not always mean easier, I choose to search that out. He has proven to me over and over again that the most important things that open up space in my life to hear Him, to allow room for Him in my daily life, are the small choices I make daily. They are the moments in which I choose to be present and connected. They often only need to last a matter of seconds to have an impact.

Embracing the few moments of quiet before I hit a wall of exhaustion and moved to bed, I reminded myself of three simple and practical, daily choices that bring me closer to God. Here is my list:

Breathe: We breath “good enough” to stay alive, but intentional breathing can give us that pause we need to reconnect. It can also center our soul a bit to be able to hear the Lord in all the chaos.

“By the word of the LORD the heavens were made, And by the breath of His mouth all their host”. Psalm 33:6-7    

Breathing connects us to our existence, and is proven in the world to reduce anxiety, relieve stress, increase energy levels and even help with weight loss. More energy and less anxiety is likely to lead to more prayer time, less chaos, more mental clarity and more space for God in my life overall.

Fast: Fasting is found often in the bible as a way to draw closer to God. I have applied this to my life in many ways, less clothes, less stuff, etc… but the most tangibe is usually to simplify the diet. Avoid foods that make us feel really full, sleepy or foggy. When I wake up, I try to first breath, pray & drink water rather than desperately scramble for coffee. I have found this leads to better food choices and my intention when consuming food and liquid is more wholesome. I have also found it works better for me to eat smaller amounts or spread out meals regularly rather than make a big event about fasting. I may spend the morning drinking water, noticing the clarity and lightness it brings, then wait until 1pm to eat something nutritious, natural, “straight from God” and say prayers of thanks as I eat slowly. I don’t count the hours, but rather try to listen to what is right and always pray for guidance, even about the small things. Setting a number of hours or days and filling myself with anxiety as I restrict my consumption just leads to a misguided focus. Fasting is meant to bring us closer to God, so that He is the focus.

“So I turned to the Lord God and pleaded with him in prayer and petition, in fasting, and in sackcloth and ashes.” Daniel 9:3-5

Drink water: We know that water is essential, so there is little explanation in this one. Water keeps us healthy, refreshes us, cleans us. Water is a source of life; therefore I do not want to take it for granted and have developed a habit of feeling immense gratitude when I drink water. Since we should be drinking water often throughout the day, this is an opportunity to be present in this gratitude and have a clear, wholesome moment with God. We can make it a moment of prayer where we imagine our hearts opening and creating space for God to speak to us.

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

The common thread in applying these practical activities to our daily lives, is that the intention brings us fully aware of the present moment. Being present and aware is the place where God is waiting for us. He is not screaming like my 3 year old, but when we stop to listen, or just be in His presence, we are grateful for the interruption.

All in a moment, I notice where I am, what else is in existence around me. I always find something to smile about. God is always there. I don’t think about the past or plan for the future. I often forget what my to-do list is for the day. It only takes a moment or two to be beneficial and I am always brought back to my spinning mind and crazy life feeling more capable, clear, confident and relaxed.    

“And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Hebrews 11:6

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About the Author

Leona is a wife, mother and traveler who is intrigued by how different people live. Her latest project is exploring ways that different walks of life can simplify, in order to live a fulfilling journey.

Faith, Hope and Charity

This week we break from our theme of Interruptible for an insight from Terry Sheldon...

As a child growing up I romanticized the Cascade mountains. Oregon's volcanic peaks were different than the Rockies’ smooth and sparkly granite, and they weren't clustered together en-masse. Each Cascade peak was a craggy sentinel, and although formed with ancient violence, now stood sleeping. And beckoning.

I looked to them for inspiration and dreamed of climbing their dizzying heights. I was most captivated by the ones closest to Eugene, the Three Sisters. Also known by our settlers as Faith, Hope, and Charity.

We believers know these three descriptors as signs of strong emotional and spiritual health, wonderfully described in the Bible’s love chapter, Corinthians 13. It all seemed to fit together for me as I took up backpacking and mountain climbing in my youth, and as I attempted to learn the lessons of faith, hope and charity in my Christian walk. Both parallel journeys have been rocky and challenging, but rewarding in their own ways.

Awhile back it occurred to me that Corinthians’ lovely three sisters were chronological in our spiritual lives. Faith (North Sister) is a formidable peak. I can compare it to my first realization of the magnitude of my sin. Accepting the Lord requires us to stand up to fear and take a giant leap (of faith). Although I never did attempt North, my spiritual climb has been arduous. A start yes, but with a Doubting Thomas heart. I really hoped for more - the perfecting of my faith.

I grew up admiring my father’s mountain climbing exploits and waited to go with him one day. My chance finally came as a teen, on Hope (Middle Sister). The climb was rough. We were on the wrong side of a ridge and got lost. We triggered a small rock slide, resulting in a smashed finger. Then clouds shrouded the mountain by mid-afternoon and we were forced to turn back. My summit hopes were unfulfilled, but they would remain.

I would eventually reach the summit of Hope in my early twenties. It was glorious, but not without hard lessons along the way. My climbing buddy and I overcame poor planning, running out of water, sunburns and having to navigate the forest by moonlight after our flashlights died. In life, our day-to-day hope is always out there in front of us, as it should be. Without it we would lack motivation for what’s ahead. And without going forth, we would not grow and learn. But hope is not the endgame.

The faith, hope and charity progression seems tougher as it goes along. Learning to love and to be loved WELL is an inevitable struggle, and one of life’s hardest lessons. A few years later, my Charity (South Sister) experience was equal in its struggle, and its payoff. What started out to be a misty and cold hike through Charity’s lower reaches became a wickedly windy and wet slog up its southern ridge. Four of our seven-person team had turned around earlier, my father included. He was not happy, but trusted my judgement. The three of us who remained continued on, not at all sure how it would end.

But a glimmer in my imagination urged me on, as I sensed a unique mountain-top experience ahead. My fellow climbers had a similar expectation. We were a band of brothers, and we bonded in our struggle. Then it happened. Blue sky finally peeked out between the swirling curtain of clouds. As we reached Charity’s top under clear cobalt blue skies, we gazed out in astonishment across a flat cloud floor below us. It was almost 360 degrees of brilliant white, with all the Cascade peaks jutting up and out, North to South. I was on top of the world, and it was a sight and experience I will never forget.

Learning to love God and people is similar. It starts with youthful naiveté, then comes struggles with people that challenge our self-esteem, and hard events that can shake us to the core. But if we hang together and press ahead, and stay open and committed and humble, our love is purified and enhanced. True love (God's love) is indeed breathtaking. Personally, I believe I've just scratched the surface.

Let’s continue the climb, with courageous faith, with constant hope and with relentless love.

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About the Author

Terry is a man in constant motion to explore new horizons. He has a thirst for new places and faces, and a deep love for the natural world - with a weakness for waterfalls and sunsets. All of this venturing out helps to both ground and inspire him, because it opens him up to people, with their vast, collective array of experiences, outlooks and responses.

He finds all of this fascinating and sees that it has encouraged the growth of something crucial in his Christian development: empathy and compassion toward his brothers and sisters on this planet.

Interruptible | Interrupted!

Oh boy, does the theme this month resonate with me. I have definitely been interrupted!  Have you?

There are all sorts of interruptions. Sometimes interruptions come in the form of an invitation, and that is often the case for me. The short and long of it is that God has invited me and my family to move to another town, to another community, to a new church family. To sell our home. To say goodbye to our routines, our people, our normal, our coffee spots and running routes. To change our relationships, to move out of our comfort zones, to enter a new everything.

And as we’ve said yes to this invitation, He has been so faithful! He has taken us by the hand and showed us the way, but it has not been easy. Is change ever easy?  

For us, this interruption has a lot of practical pieces. One is changing where we will live. We sold our house, and we have been hunting for a new one in our new city. It’s a process I normally would find exciting, but I have just been tired. I took a moment to check in with myself, and I saw I was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted! I needed a shot of encouragement, a new perspective. I bet you can relate.

It just so happened that it was recently time for our monthly “Silent Together.” Once a month, a friend of mine hosts a quiet retreat at her house. It’s a time where she brings a word and a passage, and we split up to be quiet with God and hear what He wants to talk to us about through the scripture. I call it “Silent Together” because though we go off individually to hang with God, and though we are separate, we do it together - and I like that!  

The passage was Isaiah 55 and was it ever timely!

After reading the passage, and spending some time soaking in it, my friend had suggested we write a letter from God to ourselves, to see what He wanted to say through this passage. As I journaled, I was once again blown away by His timeliness and love. And thankful for the interruption.

So, have you been interrupted lately? Has your interruption been exciting and full, or maybe like me, somewhat tiring and long? Interruptions come in all shapes and sizes. The definition online was: Interrupt – to break in or disrupt. Seems like interruptions are often not instigated by us, and they usually cause a change that we may or may not be prepared for. Whatever your interruption is, take those moments to pause and check in with yourself to see where you are. Not in judgment, but in honesty! And I bless you to have those moments to spend with God, who has that shot of encouragement and perspective change that may be exactly what you need.

I will end with the letter He wrote to me, which may also be a letter to you! He is good that way. If your interruption right now is a 5 minute encounter, a relational struggle, news you’ve received, or an invitation - God’s Word is true and He will speak to you. Maybe through the letter below. Or maybe Isaiah 55 will be timely for you in another way. For the Word of God is alive and powerful! (Hebrews 4:12) At the end, I put the steps we went through to soak in this passage. Try it! See what He has to say! He is faithful, He is here, He loves you and has whatever it is you need today.

My journal letter from God:

Hey!

Want to have some fun? Welcome to the Kingdom!

In the Kingdom, there are some absolutes, some foundational truths that don’t change:

I love you.
I am for you.
My forgiveness is inexhaustible.
What I declare happens.
My Word does not return void.
I can be trusted ABSOLUTELY and FOREVER.

So note these. They are important. They are the boundaries, and within them you are safe and loved.

But here’s the good stuff!

Within these boundaries, where you are safe and loved, it gets wild:
My intentions aren’t always yours!
I do not go about things the way you do.
My thoughts and ways are above and beyond yours.

And as you go out with Me:
You will go out in JOY!
I, Myself will lead you home in peace.
And the land will be cheering!
And the mountains and hills will be singing!
And the trees in the field will be clapping!

Pause and picture this, My child! This is the Kingdom!

Just as rain and snow soak through the ground and nourish plants that grow, providing seed to the farmer and bread to the hungry… so it is when I decree something!

Think about that.  Let that soak in.

My word will go out and it will not return empty.
It will do what I wanted, and accomplish what I determined.

And I determine GOODNESS!
And you can trust all I say.
ABSOLUTELY and FOREVER!

So turn your attention and seek Me.
I am near.
I am here.
I love you.

Let’s do this!

Thanks for reading and for letting me share my process! I bless you to go out in JOY and I’ll end with a portion of this powerful scripture:

Isaiah 55:9-11
My thoughts and My ways are above and beyond you, just as heaven is far from your reach here on earth. For as rain and snow can’t go back once they’ve fallen, but soak in to the ground and nourish the plants that grow, providing seed to the farmer and bread for the hungry, so it is when I declare something. My word will go out and not return to Me empty, but it will do what I wanted; it will accomplish what I determined.

Directions for a quiet time with Isaiah 55:
Read Isaiah 55 silently to yourself.
Be still.
Read Isaiah 55 silently to yourself again.
Notice the words or phrases that surface. Notice if emotions or memories surface.
Underline the phrases that stand out. Write any thoughts you have in your journal.
Be still.
Read Isaiah 55 to yourself a third time.
Ask God what He is inviting you to.
Lastly, write a letter from God to you. What is He saying to you through this passage?

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About the Author

Pam is a fun and encouraging team-builder that brings the best to those around her. She loves young people and is committed to serving and mentoring kids with opportunities to grow closer to God and each other. Pam and her husband, Jared, have been married since 2005 and have three boys.

Interruptible | The Interruptions of Motherhood: From Empty Calendar to Giggles and Kisses

When I visited Ghana as a college student, I was overwhelmed by culture shock. Goats and chickens wandered freely, most people lived in shacks without plumbing or electricity, and open sewers lined the streets. The smell of diesel fuel permeated the air. Everything was unfamiliar. When I returned home to the U.S., I wanted to hug the customs officer who stamped my passport and greeted me with, “Welcome home.”

About six years ago, I entered another new country, but this time there was no passport or return ticket. When my daughter was born, I was again overwhelmed by the unfamiliar territory I found myself in. I struggled with postpartum mood disorder after a difficult birth and breastfeeding challenges. I wish I could say I quickly recovered, but it was a long journey, made more difficult by the social isolation I faced as a new stay-at-home mom.

I remember looking at my empty calendar and thinking about how it used to be filled with work and social activities. There was no schedule anymore, other than my daughter’s schedule of sleeping, eating, and diapering. Most of my friendships seemed to fade away. I didn’t know what to do with the long hours alone with my preverbal baby. I walked all around our southeast Portland neighborhood with my daughter, wishing for opportunities to talk to people.

I slowly discovered activities I could do with my baby. Mom and baby yoga class. Visiting the ducks at the rhododendron garden. Baby sign language class. Walking around the zoo. Mom and baby writing group. Storytime at the neighborhood library. These became the activities that filled my schedule.

Fast forward six years later and my life looks quite a bit different than it did during those early days of motherhood. I am now a mother of two very talkative and active young children.

As I write this, my three-year-old climbs up next to me, and says, “Mom, I am glad to see you!”

My calendar is no longer empty and now verges on being overfull. Balancing my family life, part-time job, church and social activities can be a juggling act. Instead of long unscheduled hours alone with my child, my life now requires a high level of efficiency. I am the family chauffeur, maid, grocery shopper, cook, accountant, and activity scheduler.

As I write this, my son Paul grabs my arm and says, “I’m kissing you.”

Parenting continues to be a journey of being interruptible. As a highly-scheduled, task-oriented achiever, embracing interruptions is hard for me. I always have a place to be or a to-do list to work through.

I think many of us, myself included, allow ourselves to be overscheduled because we’re afraid of the same empty calendar that I experienced as a new mom. We’re afraid of being lonely and disconnected. We’re afraid of missing out and not living our best lives. I get it. But sometimes I wonder what we might miss out on as a result of being overscheduled.

Romans 12:2
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing, and perfect will.”

Our Western culture places a high value on busyness and efficiency. We also greatly value certain types of work over others. The work of parenting is of very low value in our culture, and I often undervalue my own contributions to my family as the primary parent. During my early years of motherhood, I went through a lot of deconstructing of my identity and self-worth. Was parenting just an interruption from my “real” paid career? Was I contributing enough to society and to my family by staying at home with my children?

But the Bible instructs us not to conform to the pattern of this world, that instead we are to conform to God’s will. The values of this world often do not align with the values of God.

Today I know that parenting is incredibly difficult work and should be valued as such. I was deeply encouraged by a dad who told my mom’s group that in his opinion, “Moms who take their role seriously are the backbone of Western society.”

I want to do a better job of being in the present with my children, and being more patient and interruptible. When my children interrupt me from a task I’m working on, I want to remember that being their mom is in fact my most important work. Today my children are giggling in the background as I finish writing this post. I’ll take the sound of their giggling over silence anytime.

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About the Author

Ursula and her husband Spencer have two young children, and their family enjoys playing hide-and-seek and dancing in the living room. She works as a communications and events coordinator with the University of Oregon. Ursula has also just become CitySalt’s new Children’s Ministry Director. Congratulations, Ursula! 

You can read more from Ursula at motherbearblog.com.

Interruptible | God Speaking Through Angels or an Audible Voice

~This week we have the privilege of hearing from guest blogger Lee Schnabel. Lee has been ministering to Latin America for almost 20 years. Lee and his wife Lisa attend CitySalt. See the end of this blog post for more details.~ 

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Why Doesn’t God Speak to Us More Often Through Angels or with an Audible Voice?

This question plagued me for many years as a sincere Christian who like many, just wanted to know what God would like me to do so that I could fulfill His will. There were times I thought why does God make hearing his voice such a challenge? Several years ago, I discovered Jack Deere’s book entitled, Surprised by the Voice of God. Deere mentions at least fourteen different ways in which God will speak to us. If you want to see them, you can skip ahead to the end of this blog and I have listed them with supporting Bible verses. After reading Deere’s book, it became clear to me that God is communicating to us in multiple ways. Our challenge is being more aware of what these means are so that we can get the full message. But Deere did not answer the question of why God does not speak more often with an audible voice or through angelic visitations? That answer was discovered in Scripture through reading multiple examples of angelic visitations (Acts 5:17-20; 8:26-28) and places where God spoke audibly (Luke 9:28-36; Acts 9:1-9).  

Further review of these examples and others demonstrated to me that where God spoke in the Bible in an audible manner or through angelic visitations, the communication was critical for God’s overall plans being fulfilled. This supernatural communication was also key information that an individual or group of people needed so that they would have no doubt as to what God’s will is in the face of danger or severe adversity. Peter, James and John heard God speak in an audible voice that said, “This is my Son whom I love, with him I am well pleased. Listen to him” (Matthew 17: 5)! This message was likely to prepare these disciples for shock of seeing Jesus rejected by his people and crucified.

One example of supernatural communication from God in the face of great danger can be found in the example of the Apostle Paul sailing for Rome to stand trial before the Emperor Nero. This story is found in Acts 27:1-44. Acts chapters 24-26 deal with Paul being imprisoned in Caesarea for some false charges that were trumped up by a group of local Jewish leaders. During his trial before the local governor, Festus, Paul appealed his case to Nero. This was his right as a Roman citizen. Shortly after that, Paul set sail with Luke and Aristarchus along with several other prisoners under the watchful eye of a Roman centurion named Julius (Acts 27:1). Delays along the way pushed Paul’s trip to the end of the sailing season in the eastern Mediterranean. The ship hugged the shoreline of the island of Crete, but instead of waiting for a better time to sail, the ship’s captain plunged ahead and suddenly was caught in a terrible storm that began to drive them out to the open sea! Previously, Paul had warned the captain not to continue but he went anyway. After many days of a raging storm everyone aboard the ship gave up hope of being saved (Acts 27:2). Paul then addressed the captain and the sailors:

Acts 27:21-24
“Men you should have taken my advice to not sail from Crete, then you would have spared  yourself this damage and loss.” But now I urge you to keep up your courage, because not one of you will be lost; only the ship will be destroyed. Last night an angel of the God whose I am and whom I serve stood beside me and said, “Do not be afraid, Paul. You must stand before Caesar[Nero]; and God has graciously given you the lives all who sail with you.”

In the end, the ship ran aground. Paul told the non-swimmers to lash themselves to planks from the ship and float in. Everyone else had to swim ashore. Amazingly, not a single person was lost. Luke even records the exact number of survivors, 276 (Acts 27:37)!

So, what are some lessons can we learn about God’s voice from this passage?

1. The severe stress of facing death in a group of non-Christians with a handful of believers required very precise instructions from an angelic visitation speaking in an audible voice.
2. Most angelic visitations are very dramatic in nature and are etched in one’s memory.
3. God’s highest purpose appears to be his desire to have Paul testify to his faith in front of the Emperor. God was NOT going to let a storm keep that from happening.
4. Curiously, the Lord took Paul through the storm rather than change the seasonal weather pattern and allow them to sail to Rome.
5. God also did NOT miraculously pick the 276 people up in the ship and drop them on the shore. Some had to swim in and the non-swimmers needed to hold on to planks to get there. God will reveal his plans but human effort often plays a key role.

So, the next time you have an angel visit you or hear the audible voice of God, you can be sure the Lord is getting you ready for something really big and exciting to occur! Oh, and by the way, here are Deere’s fourteen ways that God will speak to us:

1. The Word of God (Joshua 1:7-8; 2 Timothy 3:16, 17)
2. Experiences in life that have divine significance (1 Samuel 15:24-29)
3. Anointed observers that share God’s wisdom (Psalm 37: 25)
4. Miracles (signs) (John 2:11)
5. Audible voice (Luke 9:28-29; Acts 9:1-9)  
6. Internal audible voice (1 Corinthians 14:27-28)
7. Voice of angels (Acts 5:17-20; 8:26-28)
8. Dreams and visions (Acts 2:17-28)
9. Internal impressions (Nehemiah 7:5)
10. Words of Knowledge (Acts 14:9)  
11. Human messengers (Ephesian 4:11-12; 1 Corinthians 12:10)
12. Prophetic words or tongues with interpretation (Acts 13:1-3; Acts 15:28)  
13. Creation (Romans 1:20)
14. Reason (Acts 15:28)

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About the Author

Lee has served as a pastor, missionary and educator to Latin America for nearly twenty years. His greatest passion is to equip leaders to impact their communities and nations with the saving power of the Gospel and the authority of God’s kingdom. During eight years in Chile, Lee and his wife, Lisa, saw scores of people healed in miraculous ways.

Currently, Lee and his CAPAZ ministry team are developing training programs for key church leaders in Bolivia, Nicaragua, Paraguay and Peru. Lee and Lisa have three married sons, and are enjoying their two grandsons.

Interruptible | God’s Angel Who Looked Like My Friend Linda

I vividly remember a time in which a friend’s willingness to be interrupted and then accept an urgent assignment from the Lord, helped me survive a crisis!

Subject to a political battle at work in my chosen field, I found myself shunned by coworkers in a family-owned company. This experience developed slowly, then dragged on for months. The resulting stress affected my confidence and job performance. My boss was aware of this hazing but could not stop the senior staff members that were part of this plan. The experience affected me emotionally and physically, and ultimately I was dismissed from the job. Years later I learned that I was hired for the job that another coworker wanted, and she systematically turned the opinion of other co-workers against me.

Soon after, I submitted a resume for a desktop publishing job opening at Kinko’s but did not receive a response. After a lengthy job search I started a temporary job at a grocery store deli. I sliced meat and cheese, and sold a lot of macaroni and potato salads. I dreaded going to work every day to wear an apron with a name tag. I worked hard at pushing away feelings of self-doubt and anger. But during one evening shift, I suddenly found myself in the midst of one of the most difficult and emotionally painful experiences of my life. I looked up to see the co-worker who spread the ill will at my former job. She saw me in the Deli, and looked directly at me while she slowly walked past the counter where I stood, with a sneering grin on her face. Within the same hour, another former co-worker walked into the grocery store and walked by me grinning and laughing but saying nothing. I turned away with the queasy stomach, flushed face and shallow breathing that can come with feeling humiliated. When I turned around he was gone. I exhaled the breath I did not know I was holding. I then felt a burning ache in my gut and a surging temptation to quit and run out through the automatic sliding doors.

Unexpectedly, my church friend, Linda, walked into the store. She did not see me at first and stopped just inside the front entrance as she visually scanned the closest aisles and deli area.

I gasped and called out to her. “Linda, Linda! It’s me, Sara. Please come here!” As she walked up to me, she said “I don’t know why I’m here, but the Lord clearly told me to come to this store right now.” With my heart racing, I said “Linda, it’s for me! Please pray with me right now!” She did, and I lasted through the rest of my shift. I prayed and prepared myself for the future shifts I had that week. Although I did not see any additional former coworkers, I knew the hardest challenge was to immediately improve my attitude about my job. It was a gift from God that helped me pay my bills. And I realized that besides my pride, I was afraid of operating and cleaning the meat slicer with the razor sharp, circular blade. I was afraid of seriously injuring my fingers which my livelihood as a graphic designer depended on. One day while standing at the meat slicer, I said a prayer. “Lord, this machine is dangerous, but I choose to obey you in the job you’ve given me.” The meat slicer became an altar as I prayed, “If slicing meat is the way I can serve you, then I surrender to your will. Help me bring you glory in this job.” In the following days and weeks, I felt that the heavy cloud that hung over me was gone. And I felt a new comforting assurance that God was with me, protecting me in all ways.

Six months later, I received a call from Kinko’s inviting me to interview for the same desktop publishing job I applied for previously. I got the job! After I had worked there for awhile, my supervisor told me, “We wanted to hire you in May, but suddenly, management closed the job requisition. We were not able to interview you until after they reopened the position in November.” I knew this was no coincidence. I had a test to face and pass before I could move forward. Thank you Jesus that I did not face this test alone; you were with me the entire time! And you sent your angels to help me; one of them looked like my friend Linda.

Romans 8:28 NIV
And we know that in all things God works together for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

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About the Author

Sara has attended CitySalt Church since 2004, the year it was founded. She studied Journalism, wrote for her college newspaper, and is a member of Oregon Christian Writers. Sara also enjoys singing hymns with friends: “there is a sermon in every hymn waiting to be discovered and enjoyed.”

Interruptible | Adventures with God

Have you ever been on a road trip with specific destinations in mind, only to discover some other adventure along the way? Perhaps you see a sign for a place that sounds interesting, or there is road construction, so you take a different route, leading you to new places to explore, interesting people to meet, or a situation where your help is needed and you’re so glad you came along. But what if you refuse to take the alternate route? You’re on a schedule, or comfortable in your air conditioning. You miss out.

We do this all the time in our journey with God. We get comfortable, or are on a tight schedule already, and think we don’t need to be interrupted by a divine appointment of any kind.

But God doesn’t do anything without a purpose. When He interrupts us, there’s a reason. It could be an opportunity to share His love/grace/good news/encouragement with someone that needs it, if we could just stretch ourselves out of our comfort zone. It could be a trial that we really don’t want to face, but is necessary for our growth or His glory. It could be that we’re on the wrong path, being led into temptation or addiction or something else that could wreak havoc in our lives, and He corrects us so we’ll get back on the right road. Sometimes it’s nothing this dramatic, but just a concept or issue in our life that He brings to the forefront for us to deal with before it becomes a devastating issue.

God has interrupted me with all of these and more. Funny thing, after I’d been given the theme of “interruptible” to write about, I came across a book about it without even trying. I was looking up Priscilla Shirer books on Amazon, because I like her Bible studies and recently discovered that she has YA fantasy novels. And saw that she had a book called Life Interrupted: Navigating the Unexpected. So I picked it up at the library the next morning.

The book follows the Bible story of Jonah, and how God interrupted his comfortable life with a calling he didn’t want to do. Ironically, the book itself was an interruption. It’s prompting me to do some things I really don’t want to do, like extend forgiveness again. Or pray for people that I don’t really want to pray for. And to look at how interruptible I am. Am I really willing to do what He calls me to, even when it’s not convenient? But I am encouraged by it, as well. Shirer says in discussing when God disciplines us, “When we feel His correction particularly heavy upon us, it’s sometimes not so much in proportion to past or recent sin as in proportion to the great task awaiting us when He’s done, when we’ve endured it.” How awesome is that? And I’ve seen it happen in my own life.

After I wrote the first draft of this, with an example from my life several years ago, I got tested on this very concept. The back of the book says “Interruptions. They’re aggravating. Sometimes infuriating. They make us want to tell people what we think of them. But how we handle interruptions actually tells us more about ourselves.” Boy howdy, I saw that firsthand this week.

On Sunday, I had texted my friend’s college-age daughter from Southern Oregon. She had stayed with me a bit last summer and house-sat for me. She’s a sweet young lady, but I hadn’t chatted with her for a while and needed her address to send her a Christian book and CD, so I sent her a text message on my phone. I asked if she was still living with her mom or on her own. The text I received back said “she” was good, living on “her” own in Eugene. I was surprised by this, asked why, and said I was glad she was doing well.

Well… unfortunately, the person that responded was not my friend’s daughter. She must have changed her phone number over the year.  Because at 10:23 that night, my phone rang, and I got an earful from an angry wife who could not be convinced that I was not having an affair with her husband. Evidently my text had reached him, instead. Really! My life isn’t easy, but it is definitely not that dramatic (thank goodness!). The poor lady could not be consoled, or convinced that my friend’s daughter’s name was not a pet name for her husband. Eventually she hung up, and I blocked both phone numbers and called the police non-emergency line to find out what to do. I was so rattled that I couldn’t sleep, but hey, I got all my grading done late that night! And I prayed, but mostly selfishly. I prayed a little for her, but mostly for my own protection. I wanted to lash out at her for interrupting my night and making me nervous that I’ll be called to court or visited by private investigators. And I wanted to call her Crazy Lady and other names for hurting my self-righteous pride by accusing me of something I think I’d never do, and let loose some of my drama queen teenage students on her. I finally fell into a restless sleep.

But God wasn’t done with my heart. Over the next day, I felt more and more compassion for her. Who knows why she reacted this way (he certainly wasn’t innocent in this- he didn’t even have the decency to write back that it was a wrong number and he didn’t know me!). But having experienced a bad marriage and divorce myself, I knew that they probably both have issues, or at least things to deal with, and it’s not my place to judge either of them. They both needed prayer, just as much as my ex-husband and I did. So the next night, I prayed for them for real. On my knees. Humbly and compassionately (finally!), I prayed for their marriage. For God’s will to be done in it, for His best for both of them (and any children they may have).

I felt very much like Jonah at that point. Who knows if they had anyone else in their lives to pray for them? But God allowed my life to be interrupted, and I have to believe that there was a purpose in that. Hopefully, my prayers will somehow help them. It taught me once again to surrender more quickly to His will. Previous (and bigger) interruptions in my life have always taught me something, too. Usually it’s to trust Him more. And many times, those interruptions have blessed me in ways I’d have never imagined.

Dear God, please keep interrupting me. Forgive me when I don’t respond quickly and with a surrendered heart. Help me to trust You fully. And thank You so much for loving me, and for giving me second chances and new adventures.

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About the Author

Jessie is an educator, currently in the role of academic advisor at a charter school after teaching there and overseas. She is also a novice writer, with several books in various stages and a (long-neglected) blog about the journeys of women. She is very excited to join the CitySalt blog team. She has been blessed by a few communities of Christian writers that have encouraged her dream. She lives with her trusty sidekick cat, Arwen in the foothills of South Eugene, where she can go hiking within minutes of the sun coming out from behind the clouds.

Interruptible | Did Jesus Have to Overcome His Caveperson Instincts, Too?

Human brains are not, for the most part, wired to appreciate and respond positively to a rational argument when that argument contradicts what we believe to be true. This three-minute video explains what I mean:  

Does this resonate with you? For me, this feels most true in online spaces, when my overall aversion to conflict is protected by the buffer of cyberspace. I read a comment and I feel my face start to warm. My breath quickens. My heart beats faster and my arms begin to tremble, fingers ready to throw down a brilliantly-framed counter argument so devastating and righteous that only the most willfully ignorant would dare disagree.

Not a very pretty sight. Or a Christ-like one, most would say.

Watching myself engage in this kind of anti-communication and observing it happen all around me (television, social media, the dinner table…) makes me think of other ways that I can barrel through life without allowing something or someone to interrupt my agendas.

My vocational to-do list, which reflects what I think needs to be done, on my timeline. A colleague once called himself a “practical atheist,” meaning that he professed Jesus with his lips, but failed then to release control of his day-to-day activities to the Author and Finisher of all. If we believe Jesus is the beginning, and the end, why do we so often resist giving over the middle to him?

My rule of life might be summed up as: coffee, work, work, work, gym, sleep (i.e. produce, produce, produce). There are no margins in this life for interruptions, for an unexpected visit from my dad in the middle of the day, an invitation from my brother to go out to breakfast, time to wander out into the front yard to chat with the neighbors while our kids play in the afternoon, a quiet few minutes to simply sit in the love and care of the Creator of the universe who knows every hair on my head. A regular part of Jesus’ life was leaving things undone and going away to pray. Can I follow my Savior into a quiet, solitary place where production isn’t the purpose?  

And can I change my mind? Can anything interrupt what I believe to be true and right and just? I think it can, and I think Jesus may have modeled this for us, too.

Jesus. Fully human, fully divine. God enfleshed, without sin. Jesus is our Lord, Savior, Redeemer, Friend.

And yet, Jesus doesn’t seem so friendly when he first encounters the Canaanite woman:

Matthew 15:21-28
Jesus left that place and went away to the district of Tyre and Sidon. Just then a Canaanite woman from that region came out and started shouting, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is tormented by a demon.” But he did not answer her at all. And his disciples came and urged him, saying, “Send her away, for she keeps shouting after us.” He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” He answered, “It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.” She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” Then Jesus answered her, “Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed instantly.

I’ve always found this passage so profoundly disturbing. I love dogs, but I’m not sure Jesus’ comparison of the Canaanite woman to canines was a positive one. When I think about this passage as it relates to the video above, I start to see it in a different light.

What if this passage is Jesus and the Canaanite woman modeling for us what it means to reject de-humanization of others and embrace empathy? How differently the story would read if the Canaanite woman had responded to Jesus’ difficult statement by becoming defensive, angry, or simply walking away? Instead, she generously and winsomely presses into a potential conflict. Jesus allows himself to be physically interrupted by this very different being and by doing so, a moment of transformation is created and the woman’s daughter is healed. Can I be more like the Canaanite woman the next time someone says something hurtful to me? Can I be more like Jesus the next time someone presents me with information that counters my worldview? I pray God grants me the humility to allow for both of these possibilities.

I also plan to take a little action. Ages ago, a friend who is wired like me recommended a book called Practicing Compassion as a tool to pause and learn to love myself and others well. I’ll set aside a few minutes a day this week to begin reading it. It’s time I stopped resisting the shift towards slowness for which my heart longs.

Perhaps there’s something you’ve been resisting that would help you be more physically or psychically interruptible. A change in schedule, elimination of an unhealthy habit, an invitation to something or someone new. Henri Nouwen says that, “The first task of a faith community is to create sacred time and space, when and where we can allow God to reshape our hearts and lives and communities.” How can we help one another do that today, this week, this month, this year

Let’s start with this short meditation.

Amen.

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About the Author

Sarah Withrow King is the author of Vegangelical: How Caring for Animals Can Shape Your Faith (Zondervan, 2016) and Animals Are Not Ours (No, Really, They’re Not): An Evangelical Animal Liberation Theology (Cascade Books, 2016). She spends her days working for Evangelicals for Social Action and CreatureKind, helping Christians put their faith into action. She lives in Eugene with her husband, son, and animal companions and enjoys action movies, black coffee, the daily crossword, and dreaming of her next international journey.

Community Prayer Guide | June 2018

Each month we receive an updated Community Prayer Guide from One Hope ministry network that helps the church draw near to God and pray for various areas of our city life together. We invite you to take time to join hundreds of people who are praying each month for 10 strategic areas that shape our community's culture.

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One Church - One Day Community Prayer                                   June 2018

Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call.” 
Acts 2:38-39

Church
Pray for God’s love and power in the united demonstration and proclamation of the Gospel.
Pray for the Lord’s Spirit to equip every Jesus-follower to share their faith & the Gospel with others: Pray for joy, boldness and opportunities.
Pray for a genuine Jesus-love to bring new believers into the fellowship of every church in our community.
Pray for the Lord’s Spirit to be poured out and draw everyone in our community to know and follow Jesus.

Education
Pray for transitioning leadership positions: a new Springfield Superintendent & many principal positions.  Pray for God to lead the hiring processes and appoint the right person to each position.
Pray for students struggling or behind in school to have access to summer programs and to make great gains.
Pray for Project Hope to be a community-building event, where school families connect with each other and local church communities.
Pray for district staffing and scheduling this summer for the 2018-2019 school year: wisdom and decisions that lead to a blessed and peaceful school year.

Family
Pray for struggling families to have barriers removed and have access to affordable homes.
Pray for God to heal relationships in local families, and for entire families to turn and follow the Lord.
Pray for God to increase the number foster parents and “Safe Families” to care for vulnerable kids.
Pray for God to strengthen and empower marriages in our community: to love and care for each other,  to be healthy models of love to children, and to add to the strength and security of our community.

Government
Pray for peace, safety and God’s light to be upon people on the streets of downtown Eugene.
Pray for greater synergy and fruitfulness through cross-agency collaboration (cities, county, water
& electric, first responders and schools): shared vision, integrity, trust, and clear communication.
Pray for God to guide the county and cities’ efforts to increase affordable housing units.
Pray for God’s wisdom, love and direction to be upon all of our government leaders and their families.

Business
Pray for a wise, positive and godly perspective on creating wealth: Pray for local wealth to express Jesus’ love and be utilized for the greatest good.
Pray for God’s hand and guidance upon the Lane County Community & Economic Development’s collaboration for developing the economy and improving our community.
Pray for positive, encouraging & supportive relationships among our business, government & faith sectors.
Pray for more skilled workers in trade vocations, and that people apply for available jobs.
Pray for new quality businesses to be invited and established in our community.

Arts
Pray for God’s presence and provision for the Eugene Ballet and the Lane Arts Council.
Pray for empowered and gifted artistic expression at CityFest: music and live visual art.
Pray for the Pacific Rim Art Guild as they move to a new location: God’s favor, new open doors and provision.
Pray for the Lord to guide high school music & theater departments in the selection of future productions.
Pray for the Lord’s Spirit to move upon “Art and the Vineyard,” and upon the Maude Kerns Art Center.

Health Care
Pray for God to bring hope, healing and rescue to those struggling with suicidal thoughts.  Pray for health care workers, teachers, parents and friends to be empowered to bring hope, healing and rescue.
Pray for health care providers to see the detrimental effects of abortion, sexual impurity & transgenderism.
Pray for health care providers to come alongside the church to teach on important bioethical issues.
Pray for Christ-following providers to see their occupation as an opportunity to be an ambassador for Christ.

Police and Fire Departments 
Pray for peace and safety over all Fourth of July activities.
Pray for all city, county and state first responder (police, fire and sheriff) leadership teams: God’s blessing, truth, wisdom, clear communication, & strong, healthy working relationships.
Pray for new quality and “charactered” recruits to be hired in all agencies in every local community.
Pray for officers who train new recruits:  encouragement, strength, wisdom and joy.
Pray for the well-being and emotional health of first responders, their spouses and children.
Pray for the wisdom, peace and safety of those serving in our police and fire departments.

Media
Pray for local TV, Radio and Print Media employees: to be guided by God’s hand.
Pray for truthful, fair and accurate reporting in all areas of local media.
Pray for local media to promote and equip community members to listen and understand one another better.
Pray for the Lord’s favor and truth upon all media reporting Jesus-centered events.

Sports
Pray for safety, protection and peace over every public sporting event.
Pray for the Lord’s blessing on Little League and Pop-Warner programs, athletes, coaches and referees.
Pray for the Lord to draw Christ-following athletes and coaches to the UO, and for godly mentors for them.
Pray for God’s favor, provision and direction towards a new UO golf facility.
Pray for the 2021 World Track & Field Championships in Lane County: God’s hand on all international committee agreements, preparations, and new local development for a fruitful and safe event.

Find answers to prayer on our website: onehopenetwork.org/testimonies.

Seeing the Other | The Father, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, and Me

This has been an amazing season for CitySalt blog writers and readers. I have been blessed again and again by the insights and hearts revealed through the theme of “Seeing the Other“. If you missed any of the posts in the last few months, I highly recommend that you click on the Salt Blog and scroll down to read the ones you missed. It is a treasure trove.

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Do you ever think of God as ‘the Other?’

The Nicene Creed begins,
“We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
and of all that is, seen and unseen.”

I recited that creed every Sunday in my youth and I believed it and still do. I have spent a lifetime trying to wrap my head and my heart around a God who is amazingly wise, all powerful, perfect, all seeing, a God who created a universe that appears endless and incomprehensible. A God who Psalm 139 says, “knit me together in my mother’s womb.” We have only scratched the surface in understanding how these bodies of ours function and must constantly amend our understanding as we learn more. How is it that I can have anything in common with the amazing Being who created me?

“We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
one in Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.”

Jesus, one with the Father, also God, almighty, all powerful…

John 1:1-5
In the beginning the Word already existed.
The Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
He existed in the beginning with God.
God created everything through him,
and nothing was created except through him.
The Word gave life to everything that was created,
and his life brought light to everyone.
The light shines in the darkness,
and the darkness can never extinguish it.

Yet, he calls me, friend (John 15:15). He is my Savior, He laid down His life for me. He left His place by the Father’s side and experienced pain and death for me. He came as a servant when He was God. How is it that I have anything in common with this extraordinary Man?

“We believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the
Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son
he is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.”

The Holy Spirit, teaches me, empowers me, inspires me. He, too, is God. He is also a gift from God to us that we might know Him better and be more like Him.

John 14:26
But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.

John 20:22
Then he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.”

How is it that I have anything in common with this amazing trinity of Beings? I can interact with Them but can I truly be like Them? The idea is so much greater than me.

Does God see me as “the Other?” It would appear not.

Genesis 1:27
So God created human beings in his own image.
In the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.

I (we) are created in the image of God. He says so Himself. How can that be? I see such a difference when I compare my behavior with His. I (we) have fallen from a great height, no doubt about it. But still we are created to be like Him. We are not ‘other’ than Him, we are created in His image. The whole of the bible, the coming of Jesus and the gift of the Holy Spirit reinforces for me the truth that God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are committed to restoring that image and relationship to its former glory.

Do I completely understand it? Do I know how it will be accomplished? Can I wrap my head around all that it entails? No. But I know more than I did, 5, 10, 30 years ago, because He is intent on leading me if I will listen. Have I executed each learning challenge flawlessly? Hardly. But it is worth it to me to keep pushing forward through my incompleteness and lack of understanding to be more like Him. He has made it clear that it is worth the struggle for Him and so it is worth it to me.

Romans 8:18
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Is God “Other” than me? No. He is the Creator and I am the created, it will always be that way. Yet in His love He saw fit to create me in HIs image. He wants me to be like Him and be in relationship with HIm. It seems it is HIs good pleasure. I want to say, “yes” to that.

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About the Author

Darla wears many hats, one of them being Media Communication Coordinator for CitySalt Church. She is a life long learner, who is always up for a challenge. She is married to her amazing husband, Mark. Though they have no children she enjoys being involved in the lives of her nieces and nephews as their ‘crazy aunt.’

Seeing the Other | Distracted by Identity, Disconnected from Destiny

Like Jonah, I almost missed it.

I believe we all face situations where it seems God calls us to unfavorable places or into uncomfortable situations. Yet, like the Jonah narrative, God is as much at work in the servant as he is in those being served.

Awhile back, I was asked to visit the brother of a person in our congregation. He was losing a long battle with cancer and his loved ones were not sure of the state of his faith. Honestly, I didn’t want to go. I felt overwhelmed by an expectation to pray for healing and salvation, and somehow contrive words that would bring comfort to the struggle and make sense of the suffering. But I went anyway, and happened upon one of the most memorable and tender moments I have ever experienced. The man was not looking for healing. He did not need me to save his soul. He did not expect me to make sense of the struggle or suffering. As I look back, I feel he simply needed someone to join him in the finality of it all, and help re-acquaint him with the God of his youth. After a couple hours of asking questions and listening to him reflect on his life, I invited the man and his wife to simply express their hearts to God in prayer and allow me to join them. What followed was a beautiful, honest, tender expression of worship and trust. In that moment I believe they were reunited with Grace, and this somehow seemed to  prepare and usher him into God’s presence a week later.

The crazy part… I almost missed it.

I was so caught up in what I was supposed to do (as my role as pastor), rather than being confident in who I am called to be (a fellow human bearing the image of Christ). The way I see it, identity serves as an expression of my connectivity to people, but destiny is something altogether different. Destiny is an expression of my connectivity to God. As this experience with a dying man unfolded, it allowed me to see how easily we can all get distracted by our earthly identity, and be disconnected from our kingdom destiny to experience and reflect God in the world around us.

This is not a new struggle.

Do our ever-changing identities, roles or titles artificially define or limit our kingdom contribution? For me, identities such as pastor, father, husband, friend or boss can sometimes hinder God’s unique destiny from finding a more complete and meaningful expression in and through my life. Whether these limitations are self-imposed or placed on me by others, I can become distracted by the role, and disconnect from my greater kingdom calling.

When I look at Jonah, I see his flight to Tarshish as flat out disregard for God's destiny and calling on his life. God invited Jonah to participate in a significant kingdom moment. Jonah almost missed it because of a defined identity, limited to only the Hebrew nation.

As with Jonah, the panic of God calling us to do something outside the confines of our perceived role can cause us to bolt. It can keep us from being available to hear and obey a timely word of direction whispered by the Holy Spirit. As in the case with the dying man, I was struggling with my perceived role as “God’s answer-man,” needing to do something, all the while forgetting my destiny to be a Spirit-filled witness and presence. As I released my “pastor” identity and instead responded as a Christ-follower, available to love and serve, I was pleasantly surprised and energized by God’s work through me.

As you continue your life-long service to God, I invite you to look beyond your roles and reconnect with destiny as a light bearer and witness of God’s love and redemptive good news on the planet. May you not miss the creative and dynamic ways God will bring His Kingdom, through you, in greater measure on the earth, just as it is in heaven.

Matthew 26:37-40 NIV
The Sheep and the Goats
“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Matthew 5:3-8 NIV
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.

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About the Author

Dusty serves as our lead pastor. He is a gifted leader, administrator and communicator with a passion to help others grow in their God-given potential. He joined the team as an associate pastor in 2009 and later transitioned to the role of lead pastor in January 2010. Dusty previously served as a youth pastor and director of youth camps and leadership events, for Foursquare churches in the Northwest, at Camp Crestview. He and his wife, Julie, grew up in the area and have three sons and five grandchildren.

Seeing the Other | With New Eyes

In the last year I have entered what seems like a whole different world. It is a world of “The Other.” It has been strange, unpredictable, unsettling, frightening, full of emotional earthquakes, beyond all reason, eye-opening, anger-stirring, empathy-producing …and a stimulus for many, many questions that most often don’t have answers. I’m talking about the world of mental illness.

I saw a man wandering stark halls with very short, jerky but determined steps, as if he had some important place to go. He was bent slightly forward at the waist and stared straight ahead with intense blue eyes. I don’t think I ever saw him blink. He wandered into the room where we were sitting, came right up to me within a foot of my face and just stared, stared and stared right at me. Awkwardly, I said, “hello.” He said nothing in response, there was not the slightest change in his face or posture. There was no sense that he really saw me, though his eyes were open wide. Then the caregiver came and took him away.

I saw a man who was quite bent over and held his head at an angle, looking up. He walked up and down the hall, trying every door handle. I was sure he was trying to get in to steal something. I never saw him go in a room.

I saw a woman locked in a room with terrified eyes like a caged wild animal. She had been physically combative with staff and security and was ready to fight off any other living soul that came near her. She perceived everyone as a threatening enemy. She kind of clawed at the walls and then cowered in a corner.  

I saw a very clean-cut man with perfectly oiled and combed hair and neat clothing. He sat staring for hours at a television screen which was only displaying the titles of songs being played on that music channel. But there was no music, or sound of any kind coming from the TV. Once I saw him doing a kind of jogging routine, barely moving his feet but steadily, if extremely slowly, moving down the sidewalk.

I saw a woman pace the halls back and forth, never saying a word, with a constant look of subtle suspicion on her face. It was not fear, but just a look as if she were a spy in a strange and dangerous foreign land.

I saw a very unkempt and dirty man walking the halls, yelling obscenities and indeterminate gibberish at no one in particular. He sounded angry and looked dangerous even though you couldn’t tell what he was saying.

I saw a woman in a wheelchair who could never find the bathroom, though she had lived in this house for years.

I saw a woman with way too much makeup, applied in the wrong places like a child who couldn’t paint within the lines. She raced up and down the halls.

I saw a man always sitting in the same chair, away by himself but where he could see everyone else. He had the kindest smile on his face and always waved when you passed by. He told me one day, “You gotta do your best every day. You gotta keep a positive attitude.” He could barely walk.

At first I was very unnerved by these people. For sure there was some behavior I don’t even want to write about here. These are the kind of people who, if I saw them coming down the street, I might cross to the other side or at least keep my head down or eyes fixed straight ahead so as not to engage them. They were too unpredictable. What would I say? What could I say? Would they have a sinister motive if they confronted me? Their conditions raised in me so many thoughts…and sometimes subtle, sometimes not so subtle, judgements against them.

I am ashamed of this now.

And why? What has changed in me? This is hard for me to understand and explain, but I do know one thing that has made a deep impact:

I learned that the man who stared at me with the unseeing, piercing, crystal blue eyes was a professional soccer player from Europe in his youth. He sustained brain damage from hitting so many headers in the hundreds of soccer games he played.

I learned that the bent over man checking door handles was a former “fix it” guy who still went through the motions of trying to see how something worked mechanically.

I learned that the silent suspicion-filled woman was actually Russian and couldn’t speak any English. She was doubly isolated in a silent world.

The unkempt man shouting obscenities had been a poor farmer who fell off a tall piece of machinery he was working on, and fell to the ground, landing on his head. He had been living at this house where I met him for 4 years and I was told he would never hurt a fly. And he loved animals.

The woman in the wheelchair has cancer as well as dementia.

And one of these people is my wife.

Everyone has a story. Everyone has a history. Everyone has a family. A childhood. A series of experiences, some good, some bad. I think most people have experienced some kind of trauma or loss in their lives, certainly some more than others. Good things happen to bad people. Bad things happen to good people. Why is this? Can we really know, this side of heaven? With so few answers to these kind of questions, how do we proceed? How do we view “The Other”? How do we interact with them? How do we deal with all the uncertainties?

I don’t know. All I can say is I have been reduced to a kind of compassion I’ve never experienced before. I have learned that if I just look at a person’s outward appearance and behavior, I will see them as objects to defend myself against. If I learn some of their story, I can get at least a bit of a glimpse into their humanness and relate to them there. I no longer see them quite so much as “The Other.”

1 Corinthians 13:12
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

Matthew 7:1-2
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Matthew 5:3-4
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

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About the Author

John has been an essential component to the life and development of CitySalt since 2004 and, presently, serves as an associate pastor with a focus on prayer, discipleship and spiritual direction in addition to being a regular part of the teaching team. He and his wife, Laura, have been married since 1977 and enjoy their family of three children and three grandchildren.

Seeing the Other | Love Looks Like Something

Thursday. The fourth grade classroom. You are headed in for your weekly time to help. You walk up and see a boy sitting alone outside in the hall where his desk has been moved. He has a really straggly mullet haircut, his jeans are too short, and he is slouched down. He’s obviously already pushed the teacher far enough to be removed from the class. You are tempted to think, “Phew, I don’t have to deal with him in my reading group today.”

Last week, he was late to your group. He was disruptive from the moment he sat down. He messed with the kid beside him, continually distracting everyone. When it was finally his turn to read, he read surprisingly well. His reading was clear and confident, until suddenly he seemed to lose interest. He began to mumble, and then switched to a funny voice all together. You gave him 2 warnings and then had to move on to the next reader, as he went back to banging his feet against the leg of the table.

He’s on your child’s soccer team. The parents constantly rumble about him. He is overly aggressive and can’t seem to really control his body. He too often escalates to tears, which is frustrating, or anger, which honestly is concerning. Someone has to always have an eye on him. In practice or on the sidelines, he is pushing kids and distracting the team or sulking by himself. You watch him walk up and pretend to give your child a high five, and then kick him in the shin guard instead. Your child has already told you he hates when he does this.

He is awkward and never knows what to say. He is so moody. He is so much work. It is so tempting to wish he wasn’t in your child’s classroom, that you didn’t coach the soccer team, that you didn’t have to put in the time and patience it takes to just be around him.

But you know. You know his story. You know his Mom, whom you’ve never met, had 3 kids before him whom she lost to the state. You know that he was taken from her, for his safety, when he was just born. You don’t know her and realize your heart would probably break for her story too, but every day you see the impact of it on him. His Grandma has told you how he never sees her, and how he cries himself to sleep almost every night missing her. You watch as about twice a year he smiles all day, his face glowing, because she has promised to pick him up from school. And that she has always called and canceled right before school is out. You’ve seen his face as his grandma walks in to tell him the news. Disappointed once again.

You know. You know that earlier this year, she had another baby, whom she was able to keep. He doesn’t understand. Why can the new baby be with his Mom? Why does she want the baby and not him? And you know that in reading group, he was reading along with a strong voice until he came to the part talking about a Mom making a snack for her son. When he started reading that part, he couldn’t do it, and to hide his tears he started being disruptive and changed the subject back to his behavior yet again. That’s easier than the pain.

You know his Dad, who struggles with agoraphobia & PTSD, has such a fear of life and people and the world, that he doesn’t often leave his house. His Dad often gets triggered when he is out in public, and has outbursts that are scary and embarrassing for his son. The boy knows his Dad loves him, but can’t handle him. When he is with his Dad, he walks on eggshells.

He has been raised by his Grandma, who loves him and does her best, but is tired. She already raised her children, and has to work full time, and has health problems that limit her ability to move and erode her patience.  

And again, you know the result of this. You know he is heartbroken. You know he is also hard work. He is disruptive, and socially awkward. He doesn’t pay attention, he seems to want to get in trouble, and he is rarely approachable. You are tempted to avoid him, to be relieved when you don’t have to interact. To sigh in frustration when he is being difficult, and to be relieved when it’s time to leave him.

But you’ve known him since he started kindergarten with your child. You’ve seen glimpses, few and far between, of his heart. His tenderness used to leak through before he learned to cover it so well.  His sad tears used to fall before he learned to change the subject. He used to try, before the patterns and the self-defenses started kicking in, taking over automatically.

What will happen to him? It’s hard to say. The road he has started down is a tough one. And what can you do? You aren’t around him enough to have a major impact on his behavior. You know your direct influence on him is only here and there.

But you believe love looks like something.  

So you’ve prayed for him. You’ve asked God what He is doing, how you can partner with Him to love this child. You can’t “save him” and know you are limited. But God! God asks you to love the one in front of you, to see the other. And that is him. So what does that look like, you wonder?

And God has shown you. He told you to pay attention. And He showed you the gold He has put in even this child. You’ve seen, after someone walks away, the sulky defensive look lift off his face and sometimes he smiles. You’ve caught him daydreaming, and asked him what he thinks about. You’ve listened to his response. You have decided to relate to him at his potential, not his behavior, and you’ve seen him rise up to the challenge. You’ve noticed him, smiled at him, made sure to say hello to him by name. And it breaks your heart that these small, little acts of love have made a difference. You see the sponge of his heart soak them up, not always trusting them, but desperate to receive any drop. Desperate to believe he can be seen, he is valuable, that he is worthy of love. You’ve seen love at work. And it’s broken your heart and humbled you.

And God is so good. He’s also shown you how others are doing the same. God loves this child, and has surrounded him by people who are willing to see the other, to not disregard even this child. God has shown you that this child is not your responsibility, he is God’s, and that you get to trust that. But also you’ve seen the proof that love looks like something! And when we stop to see the other, the one in front of us, and we are willing to play a part in God’s love, that it matters!

Thank you, God, for giving us eyes to see the other. Let us live a life that sees the ones right in front of us. Thank You for this child. And for so many like him in the world. They are desperate for love. And love looks like something. Thank You that as we listen to you and are willing to say yes, that we can participate in love that makes a difference. Give us your heart for the one in front of us.  Thank You.

“Ministry, however, is simply loving the person in front of you. It’s about stopping for the one and being the very fragrance of Jesus to a lost and dying world.”  –Heidi Baker

John 15:12
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”

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About the Author

Pam is a fun and encouraging team-builder that brings the best to those around her. She loves young people and is committed to serving and mentoring kids with opportunities to grow closer to God and each other.  She joined our staff team in 2012 and oversees the ministry of ages from birth to eighth grade. Pam and her husband, Jared, have been married since 2005 and have three boys.