One of the greatest gifts we can give one another is to withhold judgment of them. Our human nature seems to call for constant comparison between ourselves and other people, and in doing so, we often tend to look at someone who is different from us in a negative or at least suspicious light. I think some of us confuse the spiritual gift of discernment with a “gift of suspicion!”
So how do we overcome this tendency to compare and judge? In a word, it’s humility…. humility to recognize that we do not set the standards; God does, and that God’s grace and mercy are always greater than ours. If we can move out from a place of humility, we will be able to listen better to other people and to be curious about what makes them behave the way they do or say the things they say or struggle with the things they struggle with. This is a humility that says something like, “I may know a lot of things, but I don’t know everything there is to know about everything and everyone in the universe. Therefore I will ask questions and not assume I understand everything perfectly. I will try to see things from someone else’s perspective. I will give them room to let God move them, deal with them, heal them, correct them. I will respect their journey and concentrate on my own journey, over which I do have some bit of control.”
Of course, if a friend, spouse, child or colleague is asking for counsel or advice, we give them our best shot, based on what we know. If at all possible though, the better route is just to ask them a lot of clarifying questions about their concern and to pray with them, letting them resolve the issue themselves. This is the heart of spiritual direction, which honors each person’s ability to hear God for themselves.
-John Rice
Encouraging words:
When pride comes, then comes disgrace,
but with humility comes wisdom.
Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honor and life.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death — even death on a cross!