Truth in Love | Exposure to the Light

Being a part of the Christian subculture, the term Truth in Love is nothing new. I think my knee-jerk assumption is that it’s a free pass to tell people things they don’t want to hear, but in a nice way. But what if there is a broader way that the Church, God’s people, brings truth to our community? Truth - honest reflections of where evil, brokenness, and selfishness ravish God’s good creation - are spoken not in judgment and shame inducing “other-izing,” but with invitational love.

I was caught up in a rabbit trail this morning (as I often am), learning about the 1919 Elaine Massacre. I had never heard of this mass destruction of black bodies in rural Arkansas that took place over 100 years ago. A post on social media shared at the right time of day was all I needed to send me into investigation mode to learn what they were talking about. One thing led to another …you know the drill. I invite you to explore that Wikipedia rabbit trail on your own time.

With Truth in Love on my mind, I was very interested to learn about the memorial for this tragic event that was actually built pretty recently. The website of the Elaine Massacre Memorial leads with a quote from author James Baldwin: “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” Now regardless of your familiarity with or opinions about James Baldwin, this quote took me right back to scripture’s usage of light and dark. The way of bringing the gross, dark, shame-filled things to the light and exposing that which was hidden, brings the opportunity for healing.

In Ephesians 5, Paul is talking about “walking in love,” rather than how we used to walk, and “walking as children of light,” rather than in the darkness we once walked. He then builds the case for how to walk in this new way in verse 13: “But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.”

Exposure to the light! The light of truth exposes these horrible sins and only then do we have a chance to mourn, repent, reconcile, and heal. The way of love leads us to the light.

I know my gut reaction to my embarrassing behavior is to hide it. I saw it in my children when they were toddlers because it is what’s natural to us. I know I do it now in my 30s. When I trip, I look around to make sure no one sees it. When I fail, I hope no one will know it was me. On a larger scale, we as a nation attempt to bury our hate-filled histories like that of the Elaine Massacre and The Red Summer of 1919…not to mention the hate-filled racial history here in Eugene, from the burning crosses on Skinner’s Butte to the segregated Ferry Street Community across the Willamette. (Consider a walking tour of Eugene’s black history https://traveloregon.com/things-to-do/take-a-walking-tour-of-eugenes-black-history/)

It wasn’t until 2019 that the 1919 tragedy was formally memorialized. Before the concrete memorial was built, a willow tree was planted on site, which only months later was cut down and the memorial tag stolen. People kept trying to keep this story hidden. But this hiding is not the way of Jesus, not the way of truth in love, and not the way of healing and wholeness.

When the truth is exposed to the light we can see it, address it, and repent from it. This is why Auschwitz and other internment camps are available for tours to this day. And this exposure of evil to the light was the invitation from the prophets to Judah, Israel, and the surrounding nations. This is the invitation to healing today. Without bringing these histories to the light there can be no healing.

The light is God’s light. If it were not, then the light would be dangerous. But this light is the light that can handle the truth with love.

Pray with me:

Psalm 139
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

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About the Author

Mike is CitySalt's Lead Pastor. Mike is married to Britni and together they have two awesome elementary school-aged children. He loves working in his garden and connecting with people over coffee. One of his greatest joys in pastoring is helping others discover the fullness that God has for them through His Scriptures and His Spirit.

Love Purified | God’s Healing Love

I’ve never served time in jail. But I have spent too much time, off and on, in an internal prison of self-condemnation after personal failures. Since childhood, a pattern of condemnation assaulted my mind with lies. These lies were aimed at convicting me of being too flawed to have any hope of self-improvement.

But God broke through and told me that my paralyzing inner prison was not the end of my story. Christ offers me redemption by teaching me new life skills through the learning of life lessons. Jesus met me at my most painful times of paralyzing condemnation, and set me free with His healing love.

God’s healing love is often found in people who have gone through the healing process themselves. This love gives me the room to fail and then turn to God on my own, for resolution. People who are conduits of God’s healing love are those who have let go of their opportunity to judge me at my point of failure, have chosen to forgive, and leave me in God’s care.

I have experienced God’s healing love with friends who believe in the best possible future for me. They have caught a vision of me as my best self and they trust God to bring it to pass in my life.

This healing love has freed me to pursue my learning experience with God, to learn more of the lesson He is actively teaching me. God’s healing love, combined with my friend’s forgiveness and acceptance in brotherly love, has helped me rise again from the figurative death of my failures, to live again in God’s redemptive love.

In a recent time of solitude, I heard God communicate I had starved myself of His Love. I had neglected to receive the life-sustaining nourishment of His love. This opened a galaxy of thought in my mind. How could this be? But it was true. My early life experience taught me love was something I had to earn, and it was issued sparingly. The concept of being given unconditional love is not something I can comprehend. And I’m aware I live with this contradiction - I can gladly give my deeply-felt love to others, but receiving it still shocks me. It comes from wrong information I learned from my youth--lies that would tell me I was defective and not qualified for continued acceptance and inclusion in the lives of people, even those I considered friends.

Throughout my adult life, I lived with a rigid pattern of self-condemnation and deprivation of self-love. Subconsciously, I put myself in a kind of adult time-out because I had failed. And I didn’t allow myself to move on and try again, but instead, I stayed stuck. I finally recognized the self-condemnation, which I hated, but thought I deserved. Forgiveness from others and myself, breaks this pattern. I have lived outside of my self-imposed prison long enough, so that the freedom of self-forgiveness is my new normal. I recently noticed significant evidence of God’s healing love in my life.

My neighbor Cathy recently bought a dog which surprised many of us in our condo complex. Such a big commitment of time, effort, and money for a single person who works full-time. But we all cooed and smiled when she brought her beautiful Labrador Retriever puppy home and took him for walks.

One day she walked up to me in the parking lot and started to tell me about the hardships of her puppy chewing her shoes and urinating on the carpet. I was late for an appointment and didn’t have time to talk. I should have told her this kindly and gently, but instead I exercised what I thought was merciful self-restraint. I stopped myself from bluntly telling her she should not complain about her choice, and limited myself to one sentence, saying “Well, that’s what puppies do.”

Unfortunately, Cathy did not catch my hint that I was not able to talk with her then, and she continued her complaints. I awkwardly repeated my response, “That’s what puppies do.” Then I saw the hurt in her eyes. This caused me pain also when I realized she received my comment as rejection, and I know that feeling too well. I tried to apologize and asked if we could talk later, but she quickly turned away and walked across the parking lot to her condo.

A few days later, I saw her in the parking lot, and called out to her. No response. I called her name again, still no response. I walked up to her and by now her back was turned to me. So, I tried to walk around to face her and started to apologize, when she quickly spun to face me fully, and shouted, “No! You do not get to talk to me now, maybe later.” And I replied, “But I want to apologize!” “She repeated, “Not now!”

Thankfully, I’ve learned to get past my own hurt feelings and walk away from another people’s sudden loss of temper. I walked home and sat on my couch with the very familiar tear-filled eyes and tight stomach that I experienced after receiving a burst of rage during childhood. But this time I didn’t second guess my choice of action. My apology was the right thing to do. And I let go of needing her to forgive me instantly. I repented to God and received His forgiveness and peace.

A couple of weeks later I saw Cathy on the sidewalk in our complex, walking her dog. I was driving home and was in the driveway almost at my home, when a holy spirit idea dropped into my mind. I responded by pulling my car over to face her, rolled down my window and said “Hi, when you feel ready, let’s talk through what happened.” But I didn’t get a chance to continue. Cathy said “No, I want to apologize to you! She explained “I received feedback from several other people telling me I was not prepared to raise a puppy by myself. Your comment put me over the edge and I lost my temper. Will you forgive me?

I stood there with a slightly dropped jaw and then quickly recomposed myself, and uttered a brief “Oh, okay! Yes I do! And I ask you to forgive me!” She did, and then we then talked it out, while her 6-month-old puppy chewed on his leash.

What a sense of relief I felt at that moment, which I didn’t get to experience much in my past. But those stifled experiences from childhood have value, in that they serve to motivate me to not let the sun go down on my anger. Now that I have tasted freedom from wrath, I am no longer willing to spend time in someone’s anger jail.

God’s healing love gives me a greater sense of personal freedom, step by step. In addition to taking time in my day to quiet my mind and enter into God’s presence, I also set aside time to ask God for His wonderful, healing love which changes me from glory to glory. And I am so very thankful for my friends and prayer partners who share God’s love with me through forgiveness and acceptance.

My current, self-written, motto for this spiritual season in my life is “Take time to Nourish yourself with love, mercy, and peace from Christ. You are deeply loved by Jesus, our Heavenly Father, and the Holy Spirit. And everything is going to work out in your life, according to God’s loving plan. It is well with my soul.”

1 Corinthians 13:6-7 MSG
“Love never gives up,...Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.”

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About the Author

Sara has attended CitySalt Church since 2004, the year it was founded. She studied Journalism, wrote for her college newspaper, and is a member of Oregon Christian Writers. Sara also enjoys singing hymns with friends: “there is a sermon in every hymn waiting to be discovered and enjoyed.”

"Imagination as Used by the Lord" by Laura Rice

Sunday evening Mike, in his talk about anger, challenged us to go to God and let Him show us any hidden and /or closed room in our hearts. Explaining, he walked us into a room of cobwebs and dust, long-neglected. Then we were to let God show us what this room represented in us. Perhaps a place of anger or unforgiveness that needed cleansing, healing or repentance. Maybe He will open our eyes to something in the room. We may know immediately what it symbolizes or we may have to wait and ask God to show us.

In this process of imagining, God reveals our heart-wounds and lead us to healing or confession. Places in us that are shut, blocked off or fearfully locked, can be accessed by His Spirit as He uses our own imaginations to explore and reveal. Engaging the imagination and inviting the Holy Spirit to guide us is a gift given by God. Often our imaginations will bring symbols to mind. Sunshine to bring light, a garden to show deadness or growth and beauty. Many people think in pictures. It’s an everyday experience for children, but many adults lose their ability by doubt or over-intellectualizing.

Many adults need their imaginations cleansed of all the unhealthy images. These images can block the true and good imagination, polluting it. Prayer and healing may be needed to set a person free to use their God-given imaginations for good. God gave us our imaginations to be a healthy faculty to be used by the Holy Spirit. One concern that sometimes arises is whether these imaginings are like New Age guided imagery. God showing us something using our own imaginations is so different.

A Christian is covered by the Holy Spirit and protected. We are not “wide-open” to just anyone or anything. I’ve had many opportunities to practice this exercise of asking God to use my imagination by His Holy Spirit. Often, not surprisingly, because of who I am the picture or image can be funny. During one such time I saw a red telephone booth. At first I wondered what this could mean. Then the Lord spoke to me; “You don’t have to go to any particular place to talk to me. I am available to to you anywhere and any time.” It’s like having a cell phone. Another time the question was,, “Ask God to show you the condition of your heart.” So I did and I immediately saw a popsicle stick fence, apparently to guard my heart. I felt God was showing me that I did not trust Him At the same time I had devised a ridiculous fence to keep my heart safe. From these and many more such experiences, I sat down today and asked God to show me if there was any locked door in my heart. And He faithfully walked me thru another look into my inner being.

Thanks Mike for the suggestion.

Ez 13:12

Eph 3:20

Heb. 4:12-13 attitudes translated imaginations.

Living in the Light

For most of my life I have suffered with SAD, or Seasonal Affective Disorder.  I cycle through a period of depression every year, and actually more often than not, as cloudy days come and finally go.  I was pleased to read that this pattern is not a moral failure but instead a medical condition.  People choose different ways to manage this malady.  One of the most important ways to treat it may be to get more light exposure. The symptomatic list certainly describes my experience: lack of energy, weakened immune system, irritability, lack of concentration, over-eating and weight gain, alcohol or drug abuse, feelings of guilt and worry, sleep problems and social and relational problems.

Because of SAD and other forms of depression, I have been plagued most of my adult life, I have often felt that I was living in a dark place.  The longing in me for the warm, rejuvenating sun and its light drew me to search for what the bible says will help me. Years ago, I started to mark all the places where light is referred to in the scripture.  By now I have memorized many references and I recite them in times of depression.  One of my favorites is from 1 John 1:5-7; ‘’God is light, in him there is no darkness at all.”  Also John 1:4 reveals, “In Him (Jesus) was life and that life was the light of men.” Jesus was and is the true light that gives light to every man.

There are so many more examples.  As I’ve studied light, I’ve also looked at its synonyms.  Light is illuminating. Illumination is often tied with truth.  Truth confronts the lies that often accompany depression.  It is like a torch that shines on a pathway in the dark.  It reveals the obstacles and makes the way plain.

Alongside illumination is clarity.  Depression causes confusion and difficulty making decisions.  God promises to enter our shadowed times and bring clear direction.  For me it’s like the clearing of the overcast sky which allows a true view of the landscape.  As it clears, so does the fog of our thinking.

Fear also accompanies the low times in our lives: “The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?” (Psalm 27:1)  He brings light and He saves me in every way.

With fear often come anxiety, worry and false guilt.  Jesus speaks to worry in Matt.6:25, referring to the flowers and birds that the Father cares for.  Most importantly He speaks to our value as God’s beloved children.  My long habit has been to turn from worry to prayer. And so with false guilt, I remind myself of His forgiveness and let Him shed light on what is true and what is false guilt.

Lastly, I want to share an antidote the Lord has given us for depression and negativity, Gratefulness.  I have learned that I must choose to reverse my thought processes.  Looking at the beauty around us, our relationships, and the gifts God has given us begins to interrupt the negative cycle. This enables us to “lift our eyes up to the heavens, from whom our help comes.” (Psalm 121)  We have been called out of darkness into glorious light. (1 Peter 2:9)

"One More Night with the Frogs" by Lauren Watson

Recently I’ve been reminded of the choice Pharaoh made in Genesis 8. Pharaoh asked Moses to plead with the Lord to take the plague of frogs away and in return he would let the Israelites go. Moses replied, “You set the time” and Pharaoh answered “Do it tomorrow”.

Why would he not say “RIGHT NOW”? Why would he choose to spend another night with the slimy, smelly, noisy frogs? Why not ask the God of the Universe intervene ASAP? I have always thought Pharaoh short sighted and downright stupid, and hoped I would make a more intelligent response. However my recent journey shows me how easy it is to delay expectation of God’s Power and Promise.

I have suffered an undiagnosed pain for a couple decades. At times it has been tolerable and others, debilitating. There have been several types of doctors, exams, tests, ultra sounds, theories and referrals, but no answers. These last two years have been the worst and have damaged my general physical health through inactivity, my soul through isolation and darkened my spirit. Many health care providers discounted what they couldn’t explain and in the process caused me to doubt myself and lessen my self-worth. Trying to work eight plus hours wore me out and sometimes I couldn’t make it through the day. Movement caused pain and anyplace I couldn’t control my circumstances I wouldn’t go, I felt captive in my own body and “mostly dead” (Princess Bride reference).

When the opportunity to go to Bethel Church in Redding, renown for successful healing prayer, I was sure that was the answer, it had to be- I was desperate. The worship was amazing, the teaching was inspired, the company was delightful, and the prayer was anointed. During worship the first night I saw scar tissue over my spiritual heart caused by the relationship trauma throughout my life. The last service I saw a bolt of lightning go into my mouth, but had no idea what it meant; since that time I feel that it was the Holy Spirit melting the wounds and freeing my heart. We all came back richer for having been there and I came back feeling less the pain and feeling that I had been healed.

Four days later I was in more pain than ever and incredibly discouraged, I felt a failure…

While in California, we saw our friend Lee posting testimonials of his most recent trip; he operates in the gifts of the Spirit, especially healing and had even prayed for my pain several years ago. When my pain came back I called him to see if he had any insights as to why this had been a temporary relief. We went over the process through which Bethel took us, and Lee offered to pray for me again, after fasting. I took the next few days and inquired of the Lord, and then along with his wife Lisa and some friends, we met. The two women on whom I have most depended were present, each has a wealth of personal experience with inner healing and had received her own treasures from Bethel. By the end of the session, I felt no pain and knew the heaviness of spirit had lifted.

The first day after, I kept poking myself to see if the pain was still gone and at the end of the second day I realized it was so completely gone, I hadn’t even tested it. I have had soreness from the muscles and ribs that are two years out of shape due to protecting the area of pain and right away there was the accuser trying to snatch away my healing. It’s been a delight to see how quickly it comes to my mind to STAND in my health – physically and spiritually, I have learned to contend for that which I have been given. My heart is open, my mind is clear, my spirit is light, I feel more whole than I ever had.

So those frogs????

Why did I not go to the available resources before? Why did I spend all that money and time with doctors? Why did I endure years of pain? I knew Jesus heals. I knew Lee prayed successfully for people all over the world. I knew miracles still happen. Why did I spend years with the frogs when the Creator of the universe (and me) was available to touch and mend me? I have pondered this for days and now have a thought on it-a few pictures actually; a recipe, a jigsaw puzzle and a mountain path.

While the group was praying for me I felt like there was a recipe and each of these intercessors were bringing different ingredients to add to the whole of my healing. Physical, soul, mental, spiritual and relational pieces were all there and together, these wonderful friends presented the substance the Holy Spirit needed to mend me.

Jigsaw puzzles are put together piece by piece; the structure of the whole is assembled with common connections. I saw my life being fit together by the hand of God, some sections went together easily, and others were very elusive. Once constructed, sections joined together showed big surges of growth but I had key pieces missing. As the Hand worked I saw more of what to expect the finished project was to be, but until those missing links were joined I was still fragmented. I longed with all my will to be complete but had to wait as bit by bit, with Divine strategy the image became more complete. This time of prayer had to wait until the adjoining pieces were in place.

The mountain path image comes from an experience decades ago when my friends and I decided to climb the Middle Sister. Because of many delays we didn’t start the ascent until dusk and the majority of the climb to base camp was done in the dark. All I could see mile upon mile was the back of the foot of the climber ahead of me, illuminated by my flashlight. After hours of dark path we finally set up camp in the blackness. The next day, in the light, we scaled the summit and got ready for the descent the following day. Trekking the territory we had traveled in the night, I realized I could not have made it had I seen the entire mountain. I would have been overwhelmed by its enormity and by the dangerous cliffs at the edge of the very path on which we walked. Because I could only see the next step, it was something within my ability and I had faith I could move my foot one more time. Then in the light of day, that amazing panorama was visible.

Another night with the frogs? No. My images convince me that I had to wait until the needed ingredients were available for the recipe, the connecting pieces were not yet in place and the toughness of this path would have again overwhelmed me if I concentrate on anything other than the next step. I do believe that I am seeing one of those vistas right now because my pain is gone, my faith has been amplified, and the Touch I received is one of Love that has melted my calloused heart.

I am grateful.